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Project Confidence: Becoming Confident & Content Through Canceling Comparison is your weekly guide to help you break free from the comparison trap and build true confidence and contentment. In short 10-15 minute episodes, we’ll explore how to recognize the harmful comparisons we engage in and come to understand the negative impacts they can have on our lives, relationships, self-worth, and happiness. We’ll discuss how to intentionally choose to replace comparative thoughts and actions by shi ...
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#33 - Try It a New Way: When Comparison Keeps Showing Up
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Have you ever loved something, but comparison kept stealing your joy? In this episode of Project Confidence, Kathie shares a personal story about starting Zumba and how constant comparison to the more experienced dancers nearly ruined it for her. Despite showing up week after week, the insecurity didn’t go away… until she tried something different:…
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In this episode, Kathie shares a powerful story from a family race where her youngest daughter crossed the finish line last—and proudly declared, “I’m the last winner!” It’s a reminder we all need: competition doesn’t have to come with comparison. Kathie breaks down the difference between healthy competition and harmful comparison, and why tying yo…
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#31 - When You’re Invited to a Comparison Party…Decline the RSVP
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When my daughter came home raving about the crepes she ate at a friend’s house and then said she’d never tried them because I was so lazy, I felt that familiar pang of mom guilt. But instead of spiraling into comparison, I took a step back. In today’s episode, we’re talking about what to do when someone else invites us into a comparison trap. Wheth…
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#30 - Finding Confidence in Your Parenthood
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In this episode of Project Confidence, we explore how to let go of the pressure to be super mom (or dad) and find confidence in your parenthood by embracing your unique strengths. Instead of comparing ourselves to the picture-perfect lives we see online or the achievements of other moms, we learn how to recognize what we do well. From being the cal…
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#29 - Turning Comparison into Connection on Social Media
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Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. But just because it naturally happens doesn't mean you have to let it drag you down and drown you in comparison. In this episode of Project Confidence, we explore how to turn social media comparison into meaningful connection. Instead of allowing highlight reels to chip away at your confidence, …
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#28 - Owning Who You Are (Even in Intimidating Rooms)
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Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt like you didn’t belong? Like your title, your role, or your story wasn’t “impressive enough” to matter? In this episode, I’m sharing a time when I shrank myself down and let comparison steal my confidence. I’ll talk about how that mindset affected the way I introduced myself and interacted with ot…
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In this episode, I share a personal story about how our big spring break plans to hike and sandboard in Southern Utah were suddenly canceled when my son broke his foot just days before the trip. What started as a huge disappointment turned into a beautiful reminder: life doesn’t always go as planned—but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be meaningfu…
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In this follow-up to "Maybe They're Not Stuck Up," we explore how to shift out of insecure thought spirals and into a more confident, compassionate mindset. When we catch ourselves making assumptions—like thinking someone is ignoring us or doesn’t like us—it’s often our insecurity talking, not reality. By grounding ourselves in what we actually kno…
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#25 - Maybe They're Not Stuck Up: Dismantling the Hierarchy in Our Heads
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Have you ever assumed someone was uninterested in being your friend, only to later realize they were just shy or unsure how to connect? In this episode, I share two personal stories—one from high school when I felt like an outsider in the school play, and another about a surprising nickname I had in my neighborhood. Both experiences taught me an im…
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#24- Why ‘Only Compare Yourself to Yourself’ Isn’t the Answer
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We’ve all heard the advice: “Only compare yourself to yourself.” But what if self-comparison is just as harmful as comparing yourself to others? In this episode, I break down why measuring your current self against your past self can be an unfair and unrealistic expectation. Circumstances change, knowledge grows, and progress isn’t always linear. I…
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#23 - Beyond the Bounce-Back: Changing the Way We Speak to New Moms
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New moms are constantly bombarded with comments about their bodies—whether it’s praise for a flat stomach or admiration for not “bouncing back.” While these compliments seem kind, they actually reinforce the harmful idea that a woman’s appearance is more important than her well-being. In this episode, we break down why body-focused praise puts undu…
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#22 - Show Up, Not Done Up: Embracing Yourself in Every Form
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Have you ever apologized for simply existing as you are? In this episode, I share a personal story about nearly forgetting lunch with my daughter—and showing up just as I was, in workout clothes and no makeup. I also talk about my neighbor who felt the need to apologize for being in PJs while borrowing butter. Why do we compare our ‘done-up’ selves…
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#1 - Why You Sometimes Feel Like Nothing Special (And How to Change That)
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Comparison naturally creeps into our lives, wreaking havoc on our confidence and contentment, but just because it's natural doesn't mean we have to let it stay.
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#21 - The Cellulite Scam: The Truth Behind This Body Myth
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Did you know cellulite was considered normal and even beautiful until someone decided to make money off "fixing" it? In this episode, we dive into the history of this "flaw" that was never a problem—until marketing told us it was. When we uncover the truth behind beauty standards, we can acknowledge unfair comparisons and more easily replace them w…
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#20 - From Self-Doubt to Stage Confidence: A Time I Used SOAR to Overcome Comparison
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When I made the top ten in the Last Story Standing competition, I was excited! And then came the comparison and doubt. I was up against pros, and comparison started to steal my confidence. But instead of letting it win, I used the SOAR method to shift from self-doubt to self-assurance. In this episode, I share a real life experience of how I used S…
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#19 - The Problem with Pretty: Why We Need Better Compliments
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We compliment girls and women on their looks without thinking—it's automatic. But what if our words are fueling comparison, objectification, and insecurity? In this episode, we challenge the habit of body-focused compliments and explore how praising skills, talents, and character instead can build confidence and self-worth. Let’s shift the conversa…
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# 18 - Better Than Who? The Problem with Comparison-Based Praise
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Compliments that compare someone to others don’t build true confidence—they create a fragile sense of worth based on being “better” than someone else, which can easily crumble. To give compliments that truly uplift, we need to remove comparisons and focus on recognizing individual strengths and effort.…
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# 17 - The Power of Pure Compliments: Uplifting Others Without Putting Yourself Down
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Compliments have the power to change lives—but not all compliments are created equal. In this episode of Project Confidence, we explore how self-deprecating compliments can shift the focus from celebrating someone else's strengths to highlighting our own insecurities. Instead of building confidence, they invite comparison. We often think this kind …
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#16 - Lessons From A Sunburn: Learning to Love My Body
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Body comparisons are so common—but what are they costing you? In this episode, I share how constantly comparing my pale skin to my tan friends led me to a painful lesson and years of insecurity. But a little boy's words changed my perspective on how I should view my body. Join me as I reveal a simple yet powerful daily challenge that will transform…
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#15 - What's In a Name? - Why I Rebranded
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Dive into why I originally chose the word "canceling" and its powerful role in overcoming comparison. While effective, I’ve realized some may see it as negative, and I want to shift the focus to the positive outcome: building confidence. That’s why I’m introducing Project Confidence—a name that highlights an ongoing, intentional action to grow in c…
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In this episode, we explore how to break free from harmful comparisons that make you say "just" by identifying the root of the comparison and shifting the focus to self-recognition. Life is better when you celebrate you.By Kathie Gwilliam
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#13 - Stop Saying "Just" - How This One Word Undermines Your Confidence
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In this episode, I share a personal story about a job interview where I called my businesses "just hobbies," only to realize how that one word diminished my achievements. "Just" often reflects our insecurities—downplaying choices we think others might not value. By removing "just" from our language, we stop inviting comparison, embrace where we are…
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#12 - Helping Kids Replace Comparison with Inspiration
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In this episode, I share a story about my daughter comparing her backflip skills to her younger sister’s, leading to frustration and self-doubt. Together, we unpacked how comparison was unfair—her sister trains in gymnastics, giving her an advantage. By shifting from comparison to inspiration, my daughter asked for help, and they worked together to…
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My daughter’s first glimpse of gymnastics inspired her to learn instead of feeling discouraged. Her growth mindset led her to discover a passion for something new. As adults, we often let comparison stop us from trying, but adopting a mindset of inspiration can open doors to joy and growth. Tune in for tips on turning comparison into curiosity, cel…
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Keeping Up With the Joneses is a real struggle for many. In this episode, we dive into the phrase's origins, tell a relatable story we can all learn from, and explore two studies that show people prefer feeling better than their neighbors over being financially secure.By Kathie Gwilliam
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#9 - The Cost of Comparison: What is Comparison Holding You Back From?
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In this episode, I share a personal story from my writing journey—how comparing myself to what I thought an author "should" be almost stopped me from submitting my books for publication. My struggles with spelling made me doubt my worthiness, but overcoming that fear opened doors to incredible opportunities. What could comparison be costing you?…
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#8 - The DM That Changed Everything: How Appreciation Breaks the Comparison Cycle
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In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about a message that changed my perspective. At a time when I was stuck in self-doubt and comparison, a heartfelt DM thanking me for my book gave me the confidence to believe in myself again.Appreciation isn’t just good for you—it has the power to free both the giver and receiver from the trap of com…
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Appreciation is a powerful antidote to comparison, healing self-doubt and shifting our mindset from jealousy to gratitude. When we truly value what others bring to the table, it creates a strong, nonthreatening foundation for connection. Appreciation is the "A" in the AIR section of our SOAR program—an essential step to removing comparison from you…
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#6 - Different Priorities, Same Table: Letting Go of Comparison Around the Holiday Table
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How to avoid letting differing points of view ruin the holidays with your family. This week, we will explore what comparisons lead to tension and strained relationships at family get-togethers and offer some tips to avoid that bitterness from building.By Kathie Gwilliam
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#5 - Say Goodbye to Comparison: The SOAR Blueprint to Becoming Your Best Self
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Comparison is natural, but that doesn't mean we must accept and keep comparative thoughts coming our way. You can choose to replace them! Listen to learn my four-step SOAR process—a method I've used for 20 years to overcome comparison and find contentment. It works!By Kathie Gwilliam
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#4 - How Entertainment and Media Fuel the Comparison Trap (Without Us Even Noticing)
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In this episode, we dive into how the entertainment and media we consume subtly shape our perceptions and encourage comparison. From camera angles and lighting that highlight "ideal" bodies to comparative marketing that convinces us that happiness is only a purchase away comparison is subtly being sold. We also explore how aging is portrayed as som…
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#3 - It is Never Fair: The Truth About Social Comparison
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One important truth to embrace is that no social comparison is ever fair. Each of us is a unique individual, shaped by countless factors that contribute to both our strengths and weaknesses. To compare ourselves to each other is simply not fair.By Kathie Gwilliam
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#2 - The Habit You Have That Makes You Either Vain or Bitter
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There are only two outcomes from engaging in social comparison: it either builds vanity or fosters bitterness. Recognizing this truth motivates us to make a change when we catch ourselves comparing. In this episode, I share my personal story of how I came to realize my own comparison habit and learned that comparison always leads to a negative resu…
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