Making You The Villain: The Gaslighting Effect Of Projection A Little Help For Our Friends podcast

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Making You the Villain: The Gaslighting Effect of Projection

2d ago 49:03

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Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like the villain in someone else’s story? In this episode, I dig into projection—the defense that pushes a person’s unwanted traits and feelings onto you—and show how it warps reality, fuels gaslighting, and leaves loved ones doubting their own character.
I break down the differences between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder in plain terms: emotion dysregulation versus self-image dysregulation, and how people with both disorders often project onto their loved ones. I also talk about my training in Transference Focused Psychotherapy to illustrate how expert clinicians address patients who don't want to take accountability for their own insecurities.
Even if you're not a trained clinician, I share practical strategies for defending against someone's projection, like how to reality-check without spiraling, validate feelings without accepting a false story, resist over-explaining when logic won’t land, and set boundaries. If you love someone who struggles with BPD, NPD, or emotional immaturity, this episode helps you stay steady, compassionate, and clear about who you are.
*If this topic resonates and you're struggling with someone who's making you feel blamed and confused, book a free call with me (Dr. Kibby) to learn how KulaMind can get you grounded in your reality again.

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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Chapters

1. Welcome And Coaching CTA (00:00:00)

2. Defining Projection And Gaslighting (00:00:39)

3. Why Projection Happens: Shame And Defense (00:03:45)

4. Primitive Defenses: Splitting And All-Or-Nothing Selves (00:07:34)

5. A Personal Story Of Accusation And Reality Drift (00:11:42)

6. Kernels Of Truth And Why It Feels Convincing (00:17:27)

7. Narcissistic Self-Image Dysregulation And Projection (00:19:21)

8. Pop Culture Mirrors: Fight Club And Inside Out 2 (00:24:14)

9. How Therapists Work With Projection: TFP (00:26:35)

10. Using Transference To Help Patients Own Parts (00:33:44)

11. What Loved Ones Can Do: Grounding And Reality Checks (00:38:41)

12. Avoid The Blame Game And Over-Explaining (00:44:05)

160 episodes

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