We’ve all tried to punish ourselves into better behavior. Telling ourselves, "You only get to have or enjoy this thing if you DON'T do that." But does it ever actually work?

In this episode, we explore the deeper cost of self-punishment and how it silently erodes our confidence, worsens chronic skin picking, and holds us back from true growth. If you've struggled with perfectionism, this ones for you.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• Why punishing yourself doesn’t lead to lasting change (and often backfires)
• How childhood conditioning around mistakes wires us for shame
• The link between shame, perfectionism, and chronic skin picking
• What radical self-responsibility really means and why it’s not the same as self-blame
• A new, grounded way to handle mistakes that builds confidence instead of eroding it

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My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.