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Ep57 Navigating Hurt Feelings: Beyond the Bottle Up or the Blow-Up

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Manage episode 475884465 series 3513969
Content provided by Dr. Dar Hawks. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr. Dar Hawks or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

That crushing sensation when your partner hurts your feelings can leave you frozen between two equally destructive options: swallowing your pain until it poisons you from within, or unleashing an emotional tsunami that damages everything in its path. But what if there's a third way?
Dr. Dar reveals a diplomatic approach to addressing hurt feelings that creates healing rather than more wounds. At the heart of relationship miscommunication is a critical distinction most couples miss – the difference between facts and stories. When your partner looks at their phone during your conversation, the fact is they broke eye contact for 30 seconds. Your story might be "I don't matter to them." Learning to separate these elements transforms how you handle emotional pain.
Through practical self-reflection questions and real-world examples, you'll discover how current hurts often connect to unresolved past experiences. This podcast provides a step-by-step framework for processing feelings, identifying which of your five fundamental relationship needs isn't being met, and crafting clear requests that prevent future hurt. The most surprising insight? These transformative conversations can happen in under a minute once you master the structure.
Whether you're currently nursing hurt feelings or want to prepare for inevitable future misunderstandings, this episode offers a relationship-saving approach that honors your emotions while creating deeper connection. Ready to turn relationship pain into an opportunity for growth? Take the relationship needs quiz at needsdrdarhawks.com and discover which of the five fundamental needs drives your emotional responses.

Support the show

Your relationship shifts the moment you feel supported.

New episodes roughly every other week — you’re not alone on this journey.

Also, leave a comment, ask me a question, and let me know if you resonated with an episode or not in the fan mail area.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Understanding Hurt Feelings in Relationships (00:00:00)

2. Self-Coaching Questions for Processing Pain (00:05:57)

3. Relationship Mindset Shift: Past Connections (00:10:01)

4. Facts vs. Stories: Separating Perspectives (00:14:23)

5. Expressing Feelings and Making Requests (00:19:44)

6. Five Fundamental Relationship Needs (00:30:01)

70 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 475884465 series 3513969
Content provided by Dr. Dar Hawks. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr. Dar Hawks or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

That crushing sensation when your partner hurts your feelings can leave you frozen between two equally destructive options: swallowing your pain until it poisons you from within, or unleashing an emotional tsunami that damages everything in its path. But what if there's a third way?
Dr. Dar reveals a diplomatic approach to addressing hurt feelings that creates healing rather than more wounds. At the heart of relationship miscommunication is a critical distinction most couples miss – the difference between facts and stories. When your partner looks at their phone during your conversation, the fact is they broke eye contact for 30 seconds. Your story might be "I don't matter to them." Learning to separate these elements transforms how you handle emotional pain.
Through practical self-reflection questions and real-world examples, you'll discover how current hurts often connect to unresolved past experiences. This podcast provides a step-by-step framework for processing feelings, identifying which of your five fundamental relationship needs isn't being met, and crafting clear requests that prevent future hurt. The most surprising insight? These transformative conversations can happen in under a minute once you master the structure.
Whether you're currently nursing hurt feelings or want to prepare for inevitable future misunderstandings, this episode offers a relationship-saving approach that honors your emotions while creating deeper connection. Ready to turn relationship pain into an opportunity for growth? Take the relationship needs quiz at needsdrdarhawks.com and discover which of the five fundamental needs drives your emotional responses.

Support the show

Your relationship shifts the moment you feel supported.

New episodes roughly every other week — you’re not alone on this journey.

Also, leave a comment, ask me a question, and let me know if you resonated with an episode or not in the fan mail area.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. Understanding Hurt Feelings in Relationships (00:00:00)

2. Self-Coaching Questions for Processing Pain (00:05:57)

3. Relationship Mindset Shift: Past Connections (00:10:01)

4. Facts vs. Stories: Separating Perspectives (00:14:23)

5. Expressing Feelings and Making Requests (00:19:44)

6. Five Fundamental Relationship Needs (00:30:01)

70 episodes

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