The Borrowed Confidence Experiment - because your inner critic is lying.
Manage episode 505692961 series 3671005
'Divide and conquer’ isn’t just a war strategy—it’s the playbook of your inner critic.
Forced isolation breaks the individual. Self-imposed isolation might keep the individual at peace, but also stagnant. Independence might make you self-sufficient, but it will also make sure you will never outgrow yourself - especially not the opinion of yourself.
Think about it: Cut off from the people who see your potential, you’re left with only one voice—the one that says you’re not enough. That’s not wisdom. That’s a siege. And when under siege, you inevitably grow weaker.
But here’s the counter-strategy: ‘Together & stronger.’
Science calls it co-regulation—the way courage, clarity, and even character are built between people, not inside them. Your friends aren’t just your cheerleaders. They’re your mirror when you can’t see yourself, your lever when you’re stuck, and your so-called ‘proof’, that the voice saying ‘you can’t’, is lying.
Years ago I laughed it away as ‘a weird thing to say’ - “What do you mean, you don’t dare and you don’t feel confident? Just borrow my confidence in you!”
But this year I tested this. After years of ‘hiding’ my art, I borrowed confidence from three friends, exhibited my work, and survived the terror. Not because I suddenly believed in myself—but because I finally trusted them more than my fear.
The real rebellion isn’t going it alone. It’s admitting you don’t have to.
So ask yourself: Who’s in your ‘together & stronger’ squad? And what would you dare to do if you treated their belief in you like data?
If you want to know more about how to smartly choose the right people for confidence and deep down know that self-sufficiency tends to isolate people and make them more lonely [Listen to the episode here]—where I build a case for interdependence.
18 episodes