In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most pervasive yet unspoken challenges in modern masculinity: the dangerous entanglement of self-worth and career identity.

Through raw vulnerability and unflinching honesty, Nick reveals his own journey of career addiction—how titles, responsibilities, and external validation became the sole source of his identity until a cancer diagnosis in 2021 forced a complete reckoning. He shares the painful moments of feeling invisible at social gatherings when conversations weren't centered on his work, and how he would desperately steer discussions back to his expertise just to feel valuable again.

Jake explores the external dangers of tying identity to career, sharing a powerful story of a female client who gave 15 years to a tech company only to have her managerial role stripped away in a corporate reorganization—leaving her feeling betrayed and worthless despite her dedication. Together, they examine how men specifically fall into the trap of measuring their worth through promotions, paychecks, and professional achievements.

The conversation takes a profound turn as Nick describes his transformation during cancer treatment—how being physically unable to work revealed the depth of his career addiction, and how "Nick-sitting" sessions with his men's group showed him where his true value lay: in his relationships and community. Jake shares his own "Who Am I" list—a coffee-stained piece of paper that grounds his identity in character traits rather than professional accomplishments.

From the societal scripts handed to men about being providers and achievers, to the soul-crushing conformity that comes with never questioning these expectations, the hosts reveal how career obsession leads to constant disappointment, health issues, and ultimately contributes to the alarming statistics around men's mental health and suicide rates.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The career addiction epidemic: How titles and validation become identity
• Nick's cancer wake-up call: When illness stripped away professional identity
• The invisibility factor: Feeling worthless in non-work social situations
• External validation trap: Why there's never enough professional recognition
• The "Who Am I" exercise: Building identity beyond career achievements
• Societal scripts: The dangerous masculine blueprint of provider/achiever
• The conformity cost: How following scripts crushes the soul
• Health consequences: The link between career obsession and men's declining wellness

💡 Reflective Prompt
What would happen if your job title, salary, and professional achievements were stripped away tomorrow? Who would you be? What would define your worth? Consider asking three people who know you well: "Who am I to you—and don't mention my career."

📍Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com
• Create your own "Who Am I" list focusing on character traits and values
• Men's suicide prevention resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick