The feeling that you're bad, wrong, caught out or in trouble can show up anywhere — even just from a notification popping up on your phone. In this episode of Wholehearted Loving, Georgianna and Steph explore why so many of us feel instantly “in trouble” when we get a message or hear the words we need to talk.

They share personal stories of how these shame-laced body memories form — from Georgianna’s childhood in a home where criticism felt like love, to her later reparative experiences that changed her entire response to messages from friends. Steph reflects on how her own patterns of only reaching out when something was wrong created a dynamic she later had to unlearn — and how even her father, in his seventies, still admitted to feeling “like a five-year-old in trouble” when criticized at work.

Together, they explore how these reflexes get passed down in families, why noticing “what’s the same and what’s different” is such a powerful tool for nervous system repair, and how practicing contrast (pleasant vs. unpleasant sensations) can slowly rewire us toward safety, neutrality, and even joy.

Discover how:

• Childhood shame patterns wire us to expect trouble

• Reparative experiences can gently change old body memories

• Family patterns shape what we expect in connection

• Simple contrasts can open the door to freedom and choice

"Like finding gold." – Alma W.

"The best therapy I've ever done for myself." – Sanjeev B.

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Every episode begins and ends with a body-based self-connection practice, so you can grow your capacity to be with all that life brings. We also include self-reflection and journaling prompts each week, posted on our Instagram @wholeheartedloving. New episodes every Sunday at 10am PT.

With love,

Georgianna & Steph