The moment my father died in a car accident, I became two different people—the person I was before grief and the person I became after. What caught me completely by surprise wasn't just the emotional devastation, but how grief literally reshaped my physical body.
Within a year of losing my dad, I developed diabetes and celiac disease—conditions my doctor directly linked to the physical stress of unresolved grief. My body was in constant fight-or-flight mode, my immune system compromised, my sleep disrupted. I discovered grief isn't just sadness—it's a full-body experience that science shows can trigger heart problems, immune dysfunction, and chronic inflammation.
The hardest emotion wasn't sadness but anger. How could I be furious at someone for dying? My therapist helped me understand that all emotions in grief are valid, even the uncomfortable ones we'd rather not acknowledge. Through therapy, supportive friends, and establishing boundaries (like not drinking on difficult anniversary dates), I slowly found my way forward.
What saved me was finding ways to maintain a relationship with my father despite his physical absence. I talk to him, honor his memory through cultural traditions like Día de los Muertos, and believe he still shows up for me in meaningful ways—like when I dreamed he warned me about my car's bald tires, which turned out to be dangerously worn when I checked them the next day.
Whether you're grieving a death, relationship, job loss, or any significant change, please know your physical symptoms deserve attention and your emotional journey deserves compassion. With therapy, medical care when needed, and gentle self-compassion, healing is possible. Not because the grief ever truly ends, but because we learn to carry it differently—honoring our loved ones by living fully, just as they would want us to.