In Season 2, Episode 53 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Andy kicks things off with a pressing question: “What’s your favorite part of shopping at Costco?” Greg’s response? “Leaving!” It’s crowded, people block aisles chatting like they’re at a dinner party, and he’s convinced Prosecco on tap and a string quartet are next.

So, what did Greg actually buy? Milk, eggs, and… a natural gas generator. Andy chimes in with, “Some people eat lunch there. Hot dogs are a dollar! I’ll even grab snow tires while I’m at it.” Meanwhile, Keely and Grace turn grocery shopping into a mother-daughter date, savoring flavored coffee samples and bakery treats at Fresh Market—because apparently, it’s a trip to France without the plane ticket.

When Keely asks Greg about his childhood breakfast, he reveals it was grapefruit with sugar on top. “The citrus was healthy,” he explains, “but the sugar made me shake so much my second-grade teacher thought I was afraid of her.” Andy jokes, “Arm me with a hammer and feed me Sugar Smacks, and I could take down a concrete driveway!” Greg adds, “You could fell a 300-year-old oak with a serrated knife.”

Andy talks about sugary cereals being the only treat in his house growing up, likely because his parents didn’t know the sugar and chemicals were slowly killing them.

Keely, on the other hand, is the type to pop into Walmart Neighborhood Grocery for a single ingredient. “They make it sound all folksy, but it’s just a brainwashing tactic,” Greg says. “No one knows how to use the self-checkout, and half the people would kill you over a can of beans.”

Finally, Greg asks about Andy’s “fancy basement” (or as Andy corrects him, the “lower level”). Greg, ever the connoisseur, points out the connotation difference. Andy clarifies, “Aldi is the basement of groceries compared to Costco. The meat’s frozen, the brands are off, and you have to rent the shopping cart.”

We’re diving deep into grocery store culture in this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs.

www.suburbspodcast.com