In this episode of Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys, Kathy sits down with Keanu Mendoza, a warm, reflective, and deeply thoughtful young man whose early life could have easily led him down a familiar path of drugs, gangs, and incarceration. Raised without his parents present, Keanu spent his early childhood with his grandmother before her passing, and later with an aunt and uncle who stepped in during his most vulnerable years.

Keanu shares openly about growing up feeling lonely, shy, and unsure of who he was — including being bullied at school, struggling with self-confidence, and longing to belong. Grounded in faith and shaped by consistent, firm, and loving guidance, he chose a different path. Today, Keanu is serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, is a first-generation college graduate, and is continuing his education with plans for graduate school.

This conversation offers hope to young people who feel trapped by their circumstances — and powerful insight for parents, mentors, and educators into what truly helps boys find their footing, their voice, and their sense of self.

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Guest Bio

Keanu Mendoza was born and raised in California. He grew up without his parents present and spent much of his early childhood being raised by his grandmother before her passing. In his early teens, his aunt and uncle stepped in to raise him and his brother, providing the stability and guidance that would change his life’s direction.

Keanu is currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, the first in his family to do so. He is also a first-generation college graduate from Southern New Hampshire University, where he earned both his associate and bachelor’s degrees in business administration. At 26 years old, Keanu continues to pursue growth, learning, and service, with plans to begin graduate studies.

Topics Discussed

Family & Early Life

• Raised primarily by his grandmother; family instability and early loss.
• Met his biological father only once (around age 5–6).
• Mother in and out of his life, mostly out, and struggling with substance issues.
• Moved in with his aunt and uncle in 7th grade (age 12–13) — the adults who “stepped up.”

• Growing up a shy, chubby child and being bullied at school.
• Struggles with self-confidence
• How loneliness and the need to belong made him vulnerable in adolescence.

• The decisive influence of his uncle and aunt: structure, discipline, and steady presence.
• Other local mentors (neighbor/church leader) who introduced him to faith and music.
• How one person’s intervention can change a boy’s trajectory.

• Choosing a different path despite generational patterns of drugs, gangs, and incarceration.
• Joining the U.S. Marine Corps: finding structure, belonging, and purpose.
• Education as a pathway — first-generation college graduate and plans for further study.

• What “being a man” means to him: protection, responsibility, follow-through.
• The challenge and importance of vulnerability for young men.
• Overthinking, coping with setbacks, and using rituals (journaling, prayer, friendship) to process emotions.

• Social media’s role in comparison, “death scrolling,” and insecurity.
• Peer pressure, relationships, and substances as common derailers for boys.

Links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/keanu-mendoza-9ab71729b/

https://www.instagram.com/youngscholar_23/

Resources & Links

Learn more about Kathy and Sonhood Coaching:

https://sonhoodcoaching.com

Book a discovery call or explore the Tiny Challenge™:

https://calendly.com/kathy-sonhoodcoaching/tiny-challenge-call

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Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.