If I had a dollar for every time someone called a starter home an “investment,” I’d be… well, not rich, but a lot richer. Let’s talk about why buying a house you can’t afford, just to repaint the walls, might not be the flex you think it is. Especially when two-thirds of your mortgage is just a fancy rent payment to the bank.

Also: a bartender smells suspiciously good, which leads me to uncover portals into alternate economic realities where making drinks at the airport nets you six figures. Oh, and I no longer believe in overcommunication.

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