Another Day When I Stopped Asking Permission (And Started Living)

“Should we really be doing this - are we ridiculous. Do we look like Grannies?”The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. There I was, sitting in one of my best friend’s Biro - which is a tiny little car, smaller than a golf cart that you use if the weather in Amsterdam is really dreadful, which it isn’t at the moment, but it usually is… so she suggested we take a spontaneous drive along Amsterdam’s canals. Two women in our 50s, looking at each other with that familiar mixture of excitement and self-doubt that somehow creeps in when we’re about to do something purely for joy.Should we do this or just rather walk?When did we start asking that question? When did spontaneity require permission? When did the simple act of saying “yes” to an adventure become something we had to justify?I caught myself mid-thought and laughed. Here we were—two women who had navigated decades of life, raised children, built careers, survived heartbreak, celebrated triumphs, and figured out who we actually are beneath all the roles we’ve played. And we were asking permission to drive around beautiful canals on a sunny afternoon.

The Permission TrapSomewhere along the way, many of us internalized the message that midlife means settling. That our adventurous days are behind us. That spontaneity is for the young, and we should be content with predictable, safe choices. Not myself and Annemarie for sure, but so many think like this. But here’s what I’ve learned: Your 50s aren’t your settling years. They’re your soaring years.Think about it—when in your life have you been more equipped for adventure than right now? You have wisdom that your younger self lacked. You have resources you’ve worked decades to build. You know yourself in ways that took half a lifetime to discover. You’ve survived enough to know what truly matters.So why are we still asking for permission?

The Moment Everything ShiftedAs Annemarie started the engine and we began our impromptu canal tour, something clicked. The sun was streaming through the sunroof, we were laughing like teenagers, and I realized this was exactly where I was supposed to be again. Not because anyone gave me permission, but because I had given it to myself.This moment—captured in a silly video that made us both giggle—became a symbol of something much bigger. It was another moment when I stopped asking “Should I?” and started declaring “I will.”

What Are You Still Asking Permission For?As I write this, my book “No More Permission Required” launches this week. The timing of this canal adventure feels like the universe winking at me, reminding me to practice what I preach.But this isn’t just about me. This is about all of us who have spent decades being the responsible ones, the caregivers, the ones who put everyone else’s needs first. This is about recognizing that midlife isn’t the end of our story—it’s the beginning of our most authentic chapter.What spontaneous adventure are you talking yourself out of right now? What dream are you still waiting for someone else to validate? What part of you is still asking, “Should I really be doing this?”

The Radical Act of Self-PermissionHere’s what I want you to know: You don’t need anyone’s permission to:• Take that trip you’ve been dreaming about• Start that creative project gathering dust in your mind• Change your hair, your style, your entire aesthetic if it makes you happy• Say no to obligations that drain you• Say yes to experiences that light you up• Reinvent yourself at 50, 55, 60, 70 or beyondThe most radical thing a midlife woman can do is give herself permission to live fully, love boldly, and laugh often—without apology, without explanation, without asking if it’s okay.Your TurnSo here’s my challenge to you: What’s one thing you’re going to stop asking permission for this week? What spontaneous yes is waiting for your courage?Share it in the comments below. Let’s create a community of women who are done asking and ready to start living.Because life is too short to spend it waiting for permission that’s never coming.And sometimes the best moments happen when you’re just two friends in a tiny Biro car, choosing joy over caution, adventure over approval.What are you waiting for?If this resonates with you, my book “No More Permission Required” launches this week. It’s filled with more stories, healing, recovery strategies, and permission slips for living your most radiant life after 50. Because the world needs what you have to offer—no permission required.What spontaneous adventure called to you this week? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other to say yes more often.