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Content provided by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
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Reactive vs Relational Communication | Why Your Partner Still Doesn’t Get You | Marriage after Baby | Ep. 66

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Manage episode 494230184 series 3566438
Content provided by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

Ever walked away from a heartfelt conversation feeling more alone than before you spoke?
You thought you said it right.
You were calm.
You had a point.
But somehow, your partner shut down, got defensive, or brought up the dishwasher from last week.
If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the often-missed difference between reactive and relational communication.
It's not about perfect phrasing.
It's about the place inside of you that you’re speaking from and whether that place is trying to connect… or trying to protect.

I share a powerful story from my couples practice and breaks down my Trigger to Truth model, a four-step process that helps you shift out of automatic reactions and into meaningful connection.

Whether you’re the one who gets quiet or the one who spirals into logic, this conversation will give you the tools to spot your own protective strategies and choose a more authentic, present path forward; one that leads to intimacy, not just talking.

This episode is especially relevant for parents navigating the mental load, emotional fatigue, and shifting identities post-baby. When communication falters, it’s rarely about what was said and more often about what was left unhealed.
💡 Today we explore:

  • Why “being calm” isn’t enough in conflict
  • The three voices of the protector: blame, withdrawal, and over-rationalizing
  • What relational communication looks, sounds, and feels like
  • The powerful reframe that turns tension into closeness

This is the third episode in the July communication series. If you missed episodes 64 and episode 65, go back for a full foundation.

🎁 GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

--

Full Transcript HERE.


Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani;
website: https://markellakaplani.com;
e-mail: [email protected])
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
https://podcasts.apple.com/gr/podcast/the-parenthood-and-relationship-podcast/id1739098480
Your support means the world!
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com

  continue reading

73 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 494230184 series 3566438
Content provided by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

Ever walked away from a heartfelt conversation feeling more alone than before you spoke?
You thought you said it right.
You were calm.
You had a point.
But somehow, your partner shut down, got defensive, or brought up the dishwasher from last week.
If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the often-missed difference between reactive and relational communication.
It's not about perfect phrasing.
It's about the place inside of you that you’re speaking from and whether that place is trying to connect… or trying to protect.

I share a powerful story from my couples practice and breaks down my Trigger to Truth model, a four-step process that helps you shift out of automatic reactions and into meaningful connection.

Whether you’re the one who gets quiet or the one who spirals into logic, this conversation will give you the tools to spot your own protective strategies and choose a more authentic, present path forward; one that leads to intimacy, not just talking.

This episode is especially relevant for parents navigating the mental load, emotional fatigue, and shifting identities post-baby. When communication falters, it’s rarely about what was said and more often about what was left unhealed.
💡 Today we explore:

  • Why “being calm” isn’t enough in conflict
  • The three voices of the protector: blame, withdrawal, and over-rationalizing
  • What relational communication looks, sounds, and feels like
  • The powerful reframe that turns tension into closeness

This is the third episode in the July communication series. If you missed episodes 64 and episode 65, go back for a full foundation.

🎁 GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

--

Full Transcript HERE.


Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani;
website: https://markellakaplani.com;
e-mail: [email protected])
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
https://podcasts.apple.com/gr/podcast/the-parenthood-and-relationship-podcast/id1739098480
Your support means the world!
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com

  continue reading

73 episodes

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