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47: The Courage to Be Disliked
Manage episode 521051018 series 3561149
Have you heard of the book, The Courage to Be Disliked, by Japanese authors Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga?
Full disclosure: I haven't read it yet, but I know many people who have and highly recommend it.
The title made me wonder …
How would our lives be different if we were okay with people not liking us?In this episode, we dive into the concept of cultivating the courage to be disliked. This is a powerful idea that's foundational to overcoming overwhelm and burnout.
Because if we're making decisions from a place of wanting to be liked and accepted, we can easily overcommit and overwork—landing us in burnout.
Humans have a deep-seated fear of being disliked, which leads us to make unconscious choices that sabotage our happiness and prevent us from thriving.
A significant source of stress is the constant worry about what others think, often leading us to go against our own wants and needs. There are, however, some "thought errors" that fuel this fear, such as believing we can read minds or that our actions directly cause other people's feelings.
Let's dispel them today.
What you'll discover today:
How the fear of being disliked contributes to overwhelm and burnout.
Why the primitive brain's drive to "fit in" often leads to choices that prevent us from thriving and living our best lives.
How "Living BIG" — a concept from Brené Brown (Boundaries, Integrity, Generosity) helps us release the fear of being disliked and align with a more wholehearted life.
Why firm boundaries are essential to keeping resentment at bay.
Ways to have more integrity by choosing to do the right thing, even when it's challenging.
How bringing generous assumptions to our interactions reduces anger and gives us a more freeing perspective.
Embracing the possibility of being disliked allows us to show up with more authenticity. Ultimately, being willing to be disliked is about honoring yourself, being authentic, and creating a life aligned with your true desires, which, ironically, is what people find most magnetic.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction: The Courage to Be Disliked
00:48 Understanding the Fear of Being Disliked
02:02 The Impact of Social Perception
04:16 Overcoming the Fear of Judgement
08:47 Living BIG: Boundaries, Integrity, and Generosity
17:45 Embracing Authenticity
19:04 Conclusion and Invitation to The Overwhelm Cure Program
Invitation: Sign up for The Overwhelm Cure ProgramIf you're ready for change, I'd love for you to join me for the Overwhelm Cure Program starting in January 2026. It's an eight-week online program, where you'll participate in regular exercises, and we'll come together each week to discuss ways to help you finally overcome feelings of overwhelm. We start in January! Sign up.
Links from today:
The Courage to Be Disliked book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Connect with me:
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