💍 What if the way the church has been teaching about marriage and sex is actually harming couples instead of helping them? In this episode of The Missional Life Podcast, Sheila and Keith Gregoire share powerful insights from their groundbreaking research that has surveyed tens of thousands of Christians. Together, they unpack why rigid gender roles, obligation-based sex, and unhealthy teachings have left many marriages hurting—and how God calls couples to real intimacy, teamwork, and joy. Whether you’re single, newly married, or decades in, you’ll walk away with practical wisdom for building the marriage you truly want. 🌿✨

About The Guest

Sheila Gregoire is a bestselling Christian author, speaker, and podcaster who, alongside her husband Keith, is reshaping how the church talks about marriage, intimacy, and emotional health. Through their ministry Bare Marriage and books like The Great Sex Rescue and The Marriage You Want, Sheila combines biblical truth with groundbreaking research to help couples find freedom, joy, and genuine connection. With honesty, compassion, and data-driven insight, she equips believers to build marriages that reflect God’s heart.

Reasons To Listen

1. Uncover Harmful Myths – Learn how common evangelical teachings about sex and marriage may be hurting couples and discover healthier, biblical alternatives that lead to joy and connection.
2. Practical Research-Based Insights – Hear how Sheila and Keith’s groundbreaking surveys of thousands of Christians reveal what actually makes marriages thrive—and how you can apply those findings in your own relationship.
3. God’s Design for Intimacy – Gain a fresh vision of marriage rooted in partnership, friendship, and emotional closeness that reflects the heart of Christ in your daily life.

Big Takeaways

1. Ditch Harmful Teachings – Recognize that messages like “sex is a duty” or “husbands always lead” often create pain and distance. Replace them with Christ-centered truths that promote love, respect, and freedom.
2. Embrace True Partnership – Marriage works best when couples function as a team, making decisions together and supporting each other’s strengths rather than relying on rigid gender roles.
3. Prioritize Friendship First – Strong marriages grow out of genuine friendship. Spend time enjoying each other’s company in everyday moments, not just on structured date nights.
4. Redefine Intimacy – Great sex isn’t about frequency; it’s about mutual pleasure, connection, and trust. Focus on building intimacy that honors both partners emotionally and physically.
5. Take Initiative Daily – Healthy marriages thrive when both spouses notice needs, take responsibility, and bring their best selves to the relationship. Small acts of dependability build long-term trust and closeness.

Missional Challenges

1. Have an Honest Conversation – Set aside time this week to talk with your spouse about one area of your marriage where you feel disconnected. Listen without judgment and commit to taking one small step toward greater unity.
2. Prioritize Friendship Moments – Instead of waiting for a big date night, intentionally build friendship into your daily life—whether it’s going for a walk together, laughing over a meal, or going to bed at the same time.
3. Challenge a Harmful Belief – Identify one unhealthy teaching you’ve absorbed about marriage or intimacy (e.g., obligation or rigid gender roles). Replace it with a biblical truth that reflects God’s heart for love, respect, and mutuality.

Chapters

[00:00] Welcome & Guest Introduction – Meet Sheila and Keith Gregoire and hear about their mission to reshape how the church views marriage and intimacy.

[00:02] The Turning Point – Sheila shares the shocking moment in 2019 when reading a popular evangelical marriage book changed the direction of her ministry.

[00:04] Harmful Teachings in the Church – Exploring how messages like “sex is a duty” and rigid gender roles damage relationships and lower marital satisfaction.

[00:07] Partnership vs. Hierarchy – Keith and Sheila reveal research showing why marriages built on teamwork thrive, while hierarchical models struggle.

[00:15] Friendship in Marriage – Why friendship is often overlooked in Christian teaching and how couples can build emotional connection daily.

[00:21] Redefining Great Sex – Shifting focus from frequency to mutual pleasure, intimacy, and connection that reflect God’s design.

[00:25] Healing from Trauma & Obligation – How obligation-based sex and past abuse impact intimacy—and practical ways couples can move toward freedom.

[00:31] Dependability & Initiative – The importance of taking responsibility in marriage and how dependability builds lasting trust.

[00:35] Words of Hope – Sheila speaks directly to struggling wives, and Keith encourages husbands considering walking away from their marriage.

[00:39] Decision-Making in Marriage – Why “husband as tiebreaker” is harmful, and how couples can navigate disagreements in healthier ways.

[00:44] Fun Questions & Eye-Roll Marriage Advice – Sheila and Keith share the strangest marriage tips they’ve ever heard and how they keep humor in their relationship.

[00:48] Closing & Resources – Where to find Sheila and Keith online and how to get their new book, The Marriage You Want.

Social Media Handle

Websites: baremarriage.com, sheilawraygregoire.com

Instagram: @sheilagregoire

Youtube: Sheila Wray Gregoire

Substack: @baremarriage

X: @sheilagregoire

#themissionallife #themissionallifepodcast #SheilaGregoire #ChristianMarriage #FaithAndMarriage #HealthyRelationships #MarriageGodsWay #BareMarriage #MarriageYouWant #ChristianPodcast

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