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Ep. 183: I'm Tired of Being the One Who Holds It All Together — And He Doesn't Even Know I Do

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Manage episode 516763647 series 3554576
Content provided by Jennifer Roskamp, CLC, Jennifer Roskamp, and CLC. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Jennifer Roskamp, CLC, Jennifer Roskamp, and CLC or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

Let me tell you what nobody sees.

She's the glue.
The memory.
The calendar.
The compass.

She's the one who plans the college visits and remembers who needs a cavity filled.

The one who's worrying at 2 a.m. about her kid's anxiety—whether they have real friends, whether they'll be okay, whether that comment they made last week was just teenage drama or something darker.

She's the one tracking everyone's emotional temperature.

Noticing when her daughter gets quiet.
When her son starts withdrawing.
When her husband checks out.

She's the one managing the big stuff nobody else even knows needs to be managed:

The financial stress of older kids.
The logistics of aging parents.
The weight of keeping everyone emotionally afloat while she's drowning.

And somehow, in the middle of all that…

He thinks she's "just in a mood."

He thinks he deserves a high-five for picking up dinner—while she's carrying their entire life.

There’s so much to unpack here - so much that we women can understand about what he’s actually doing and not doing…and how to explain what life’s like for us in a way he can actually understand it WITHOUT getting defensive or turning it back around on us.

This is Episode 4 of the series:
"Marriage Conversations Midlife Besties Are Having (But Afraid to Say Out Loud)."

I'm Jennifer Roskamp, and this is The Intentional Midlife Mom podcast.

Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get some powerful mantras to inspire, encourage, and life you up when you need as little something intentional to focus on.
We have a beautiful pdf download of the 6 Mantras For Intentional Moms you can keep or print. Request them right HERE.
Visit The Intentional Mom

Follow us on Instagram HERE

Visit our YouTube Channel HERE
Rate & Review The Intentional Mom Podcast on Apple . We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast. If you listen on Spotify, you can rate & review us there, too.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. The Invisible Load of Caregiving (00:00:00)

2. Understanding Emotional Labor in Relationships (00:01:56)

3. The Invisible Load of Midlife Women (00:03:20)

4. Understanding the Emotional Burden (00:06:17)

5. The Disconnect in Partnership (00:09:11)

6. The Fantasy of Letting Go (00:13:08)

7. The Danger of Resignation (00:16:24)

8. Redistributing the Weight (00:19:20)

9. Finding Language for Change (00:23:32)

189 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 516763647 series 3554576
Content provided by Jennifer Roskamp, CLC, Jennifer Roskamp, and CLC. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Jennifer Roskamp, CLC, Jennifer Roskamp, and CLC or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Send us a text

Let me tell you what nobody sees.

She's the glue.
The memory.
The calendar.
The compass.

She's the one who plans the college visits and remembers who needs a cavity filled.

The one who's worrying at 2 a.m. about her kid's anxiety—whether they have real friends, whether they'll be okay, whether that comment they made last week was just teenage drama or something darker.

She's the one tracking everyone's emotional temperature.

Noticing when her daughter gets quiet.
When her son starts withdrawing.
When her husband checks out.

She's the one managing the big stuff nobody else even knows needs to be managed:

The financial stress of older kids.
The logistics of aging parents.
The weight of keeping everyone emotionally afloat while she's drowning.

And somehow, in the middle of all that…

He thinks she's "just in a mood."

He thinks he deserves a high-five for picking up dinner—while she's carrying their entire life.

There’s so much to unpack here - so much that we women can understand about what he’s actually doing and not doing…and how to explain what life’s like for us in a way he can actually understand it WITHOUT getting defensive or turning it back around on us.

This is Episode 4 of the series:
"Marriage Conversations Midlife Besties Are Having (But Afraid to Say Out Loud)."

I'm Jennifer Roskamp, and this is The Intentional Midlife Mom podcast.

Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get some powerful mantras to inspire, encourage, and life you up when you need as little something intentional to focus on.
We have a beautiful pdf download of the 6 Mantras For Intentional Moms you can keep or print. Request them right HERE.
Visit The Intentional Mom

Follow us on Instagram HERE

Visit our YouTube Channel HERE
Rate & Review The Intentional Mom Podcast on Apple . We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast. If you listen on Spotify, you can rate & review us there, too.

  continue reading

Chapters

1. The Invisible Load of Caregiving (00:00:00)

2. Understanding Emotional Labor in Relationships (00:01:56)

3. The Invisible Load of Midlife Women (00:03:20)

4. Understanding the Emotional Burden (00:06:17)

5. The Disconnect in Partnership (00:09:11)

6. The Fantasy of Letting Go (00:13:08)

7. The Danger of Resignation (00:16:24)

8. Redistributing the Weight (00:19:20)

9. Finding Language for Change (00:23:32)

189 episodes

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