Stages of Change:

Understanding How Real Transformation Happens

Summary:

In Episode 88 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the Stages of Changemodel developed by James Prochaska and his colleagues, outlined in the book Changing for Good. Together, they walk through the five stages—pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance—showing how these principles apply to both personal recovery and relationships affected by betrayal.

Dr. Skinner highlights that change rarely happens instantly; it’s often a back-and-forth process requiring awareness, preparation, and consistent effort. MaryAnn adds depth by describing how fear, shame, and uncertainty can stall progress, especially when one partner is ready to change and the other is not. The episode provides practical insights into how both betrayed partners and those seeking recovery can understand where they are in the process—and what steps will help them move forward.

Listeners will come away with a better understanding of how real, sustainable transformation unfolds and how to support themselves or their partners through the often nonlinear journey of change.

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Changing for Good by James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente

• Podcast: Reclaim: Healing from Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life

• Podcast: Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal

• Tool: 12-Step Recovery Programs and Sponsor Support

• Concepts Referenced:

  • The Stages of Change Model (Prochaska & DiClemente)

  • “Proper Preparation Prevents Pain” – on emotional readiness for change

  • Automaticity and habit formation (66-day model for lasting behavioral change)

  • Understanding relapse and stress triggers