Trusting Myself Again: Paul’s Breakthrough After 26 Years of Narcissistic Abuse
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What does it take to finally trust yourself again after decades of gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse? In this powerful episode of The Healing Lounge, I sit down with my dear friend and fellow survivor, Paul, to explore that very question.
Paul spent 26 years married to a covert, passive-aggressive narcissist. Like so many survivors, he spent much of that time questioning himself, taking the blame, and desperately trying to “fix” what was never his to fix. Therapy sessions left him labeled as the problem. Friends and family pulled away. Isolation, self-doubt, and destructive patterns became his daily reality. And yet, deep inside, he knew something wasn’t right.
When Paul stumbled across the term DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), everything began to click. Suddenly, the chaos wasn’t random — it was a predictable system of manipulation. For the first time, he had language for what he had endured. And once he saw it, he could never unsee it.
In this conversation, Paul bravely shares how he moved from denial to awareness, from isolation to community, and from doubt to a new, unshakable trust in himself. We talk about:
- How trauma bonds and survival mode kept him stuck for decades
- The moment he realized he deserved more than breadcrumbs of love
- Why DARVO is one of the most insidious tactics of narcissistic abuse
- How community support and safe groups became his lifeline
- The inner child work that helped him finally release guilt and shame
- What it means to hold someone accountable without losing yourself
- And the courage it takes to say: I know what it feels like to be loved — and this isn’t it.
Paul’s story is raw, emotional, and incredibly validating for anyone who has ever doubted their reality or felt like they were “the problem.” His vulnerability is a gift to every survivor who listens, and his breakthrough is a reminder that healing isn’t just possible — it’s worth it.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Am I crazy? Is it me?” — this episode will show you that you are not alone, and you are not broken. You are capable of reclaiming your peace, your power, and your truth.
- Learn more about DARVO and how to protect yourself in my DARVO vs. P.E.A.C.E.™ Mini-Course .
- Ready for deeper healing? Join my signature
For 30 years, Marcia Williams lived in silence inside a marriage with a narcissist. In her powerful memoir GROOMED: Life Married to a Narcissist and How I Overcame Narcissistic Abuse, she shares the raw truth of that journey and the courageous steps she took to reclaim her peace.
This book is more than a survivor’s story. It’s a message of hope, resilience, and empowerment for anyone trapped in the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
4 episodes