Conflict is a part of life and especially church life. But, in my experience as a former pastor’s kid, a church leader and an attorney, Christians are spectacularly bad at handling conflict. If we are going to significantly impact our communities, we will have to first overcome the obstacle of unhealthy church conflict. Stated differently, conflict is inevitable; and healthy conflict is invaluable.

So, how should we go about it. Should we declare an end to all conflict? No. The goal is not to eradicate conflict. Rather, the goal is to have healthy conflict–to have good fights that are constructive rather than destructive. But how?

Here are four thoughts about conflict:

• Conflict is a problem
• Conflict isn’t the problem
• Conflict can become constructive
• Conflict resolution should be a part of the Church’s public witness

Here are the four steps to having good fights

1. Identify the source and not just the symptom of the conflict.
2. Engage the conflict with grace and strength.
3. Resolve the conflict with the ultimate goal of renewed unity and outward focus
4. Give people bigger problems!

The conflict resolution tool I am most familiar with is the broom–for sweeping issues under the rug. No more! It’s time to have good fights!

What are your thoughts on having good fights? Do you have specific examples of how you or your church has successfully navigating a contentious issue or a season of conflict? Let us know by commenting or sending us an email at [email protected].