When life changes – through a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the slow rebuild that follows – it can feel like a wave knocks you off your feet. In this episode, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Darelle Gengasamy about the moment everything shifted, the surge of despair, the pull of purpose and the everyday choices that helped her find steadier ground.

They explore the shock of diagnosis, the need to find a next step, and how reconnecting with personal values can bring direction when life feels uncertain. Darelle speaks candidly about accepting help, the power of community during COVID lockdowns and how small acts of care helped her rediscover meaning and identity.

This is a conversation about adapting to change with compassion – finding strength through connection, curiosity and the courage to keep shaping life in new ways.

Highlights & key moments

00:00 The wave hits – shock, self-blame and anchoring to purpose
03:22 Hospital in lockdown – facing sepsis, uncertainty and isolation
05:00 Breaking bad news – the “wall of water” moment
07:18 Regaining power – “What’s the plan?” and saying yes to support
12:02 Threat, drive, soothe – why relentless doing needs balance
15:23 Receiving help – identity shifts and letting the village in
17:08 Values as compass – keeping family at the centre
19:44 Acts of service – small helps that rebuild confidence
23:01 The Choice Pause – Acceptance Pause practice
25:04 Recovery and reflection – rebuilding confidence after treatment
27:18 Flexibility and experimentation – workarounds, setbacks and new doors opening
32:49 Comparison trap and recognising your own needs
35:23 Protecting energy – permission to decline what overwhelms
37:16 Learning self-compassion – and why a supportive team matters

About the host

Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david) and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david

About the guest

Darrelle is an experienced GP with a passion for supporting mental health and wellbeing. She works as a GP and as a Lead Clinician with NHS Practitioner Health. Currently completing her coaching qualification, she has developed a growing interest in supporting doctors with neurodivergent traits. At the age of 39 she was diagnosed with complex Stage 3 bowel cancer. This experience deepened her understanding of her core value of supporting others and how that value positively influences her own wellbeing. Grateful for the care and community that supported her recovery, she continues to focus on helping others find strength, purpose and connection beyond adversity. You can contact her via Instagram (@wellbeing_in_practice) or Linkedin

References

ESMO Patient Guide on cancer survivorship: