'Conjuring' No More

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3d ago 6:53

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By Brad Miner
Honestly, I've had it. I'm now all but certain there has never been a movie about exorcism that has had Christ at its heart. Thanks to Catholic author William Peter Blatty, the original Exorcist was good. Director William Friedkin deserves credit for a fine assist. It comes close but misses. No reverence.
I asked Grok3 to list all the movies about exorcism. It hedged a bit:
While it's impossible to list every motion picture ever made about exorcism due to the vast number of obscure, international, and low-budget films produced worldwide (including many direct-to-video releases), below is a comprehensive compilation drawn from major film databases, critic rankings, and horror genre resources.
It's almost comforting to see an AI bot use the word "impossible." In five seconds, it churned out a 1200-word list with descriptions of 51 films. Despite how it sometimes feels to me, this proved I haven't seen them all. The Grokster ended helpfully: "If you'd like expansions on specific eras, countries, or sub-themes (e.g., non-Christian exorcisms), let me know!"
Oh, no! I don't want that. I'm just here to say ave atque vale to the Conjuring franchise that, in some ways, set a standard both high and low.
There are nine films in what is now called The Conjuring Universe. Why do producers add "Universe" to their sequel-isms? To make lofty what is repetitive and often banal? Perhaps they don't care for the actual universe they're living in.
This franchise consists of four films in the main series: The Conjuring (2013), The Conjuring 2 (2016), The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021), and The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025). Additionally, there was Annabelle Comes Home (2019), which also features the Universe's main protagonists, Ed and Lorraine Warren. That means four Conjuring films are Warren-less. I sort of reviewed #s 1 and 2 here.
The thing is this: Patrick Wilson (as Ed) and Vera Farmiga (as Lorraine) are very fine performers. (Both can sing, by the way, Mr. Wilson especially well.) It's a rare actor who doesn't sign on to some projects for no reason other than the paycheck. For Last Rites, Wilson and Farmiga have been doing a kind of Conjuring farewell tour, complete with a New York Times interview ("Horror's Mom and Dad Say Goodbye to the 'Conjuring' Movies"), but I suspect they're relieved, paychecks notwithstanding. And I'm relieved, because one hates to see talent wasted.
Anyway, on to The Conjuring: Last Rites, which is the burden I carry (lightly) today. It cost $55 million to make and has already brought in more than $400 million worldwide. (The current #1 in the world in an animated feature, Ne Zha 2. I didn't know there was a Ne Zha 1, but #2 has hauled in a respectable $2 billion, although a mere $23 million in the US of A. The are a lot of people in China. Still, those Chinese communists sure know how to pick our American pockets.)
The Warrens were real people. I don't know if they were either entirely sane or honest (possibly sane if dishonest), but they catapulted to fame in 1975 via a case known as the Amityville Horror (books, movies, collectibles, sequels), and the Warrens were just getting started.
It must be mentioned, however, that the whole Amityville shebang was a tissue of lies, which we know because the attorney who represented the haunted Long Island family - and netted them several hundred thousand dollars from book and movie deals - later admitted they made it all up with a writer and a couple of bottles of wine. But The Warrens - he died in 2006, she in 2019 - always maintained it was all true.
The Warrens were Catholic. People in Connecticut, where they lived, have attested to the Warrens' regular Mass attendance. The estimable Jimmy Akins has suggested that, as paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine may have consulted with exorcists. They may have been nice folks. But neither of the Warrens was a priest, so they were not and could not be exorcists for the Roman Catholic Church.
As t...

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