Monica Berg On Family Dynamics, Boundaries & Showing Up As Your Best Self This Holiday Season The Big Silence podcast

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Monica Berg on Family Dynamics, Boundaries & Showing Up as Your Best Self this Holiday Season

2d ago 40:43

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What if the holiday season could be about joy and connection instead of stress and obligation?

In this timely episode of The Big Silence, Karena welcomes back spiritual teacher, author, and podcaster Monica Berg for a conversation we all need before the holidays. From managing difficult family dynamics to preparing your mind and heart for gatherings, Monica shares practical wisdom on how to show up with presence, set boundaries, and actually enjoy the season. Whether you're dreading a particular family member, feeling financial pressure, or just want to navigate the holidays with more peace, this episode will help you shift your mindset and reclaim your power. It's about being proactive, not reactive—and choosing to be the light in any room.

How do you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for family gatherings and show up with gratitude instead of anxiety?

True holiday peace comes from taking responsibility for your own state of mind and choosing to be a being of sharing rather than lack.

(00:00) Revisiting Past Conversations & How We've Changed

Monica returns three years after her first appearance (episode 25)
How relationships evolve and why revisiting old conversations reveals growth
The importance of being in different environments to recognize change
An essential holiday conversation about family dynamics

(02:00) The Pressure of the Holidays & Society's "Shoulds"

Why certain times of year create unrealistic expectations for happiness
The pressure to be joyful and how that can sabotage gatherings
Monica's story about feeling the weight of seasonal expectations
Recognizing that every day can be meaningful, not just holidays

(03:00) Should You Even Go? When to Skip the Gathering

Monica's honest take: if you hate going, maybe you shouldn't attend
How negative energy affects everyone in the room
The responsibility of getting your consciousness right before showing up
Why forcing it doesn't work

(04:30) Identifying Your Triggers & Preparing for Difficult Conversations

What to do when you're dreading the holidays but still want to attend
Identifying the source of your anxiety
Preparing responses ahead of time for intrusive questions
Redirecting conversations and setting boundaries with grace
How to say "I'm not comfortable discussing that right now" with confidence

(05:30) The Morning Routine That Changes Everything

How to mentally prepare yourself before walking into a family gathering
Awakening gratitude by imagining what the day would look like if you were alone
Doing things you love in the morning to release stress and awaken joy
Showing up with intention rather than worry
Going in with a plan for the conversations you want to have

(07:50) Being Proactive vs. Reactive in Family Settings

Understanding the difference between reactive and proactive behavior
Why reactive people bring chaos, while proactive people create peace
Taking charge of your own thoughts and emotions
Honoring your power instead of giving it away to others' opinions

(25:00) Beyond Holiday Gatherings: Tips for All of Life

How these tools apply to any stressful situation—meetings, dinner parties, etc.
Addressing financial anxiety around gift-giving
Breaking free from "Morton's Fork"—the trap of thinking there are only two options
Creative alternatives to expensive gifts: handmade items, framed memories, heartfelt letters
Asking better questions to find better solutions

(26:00) The Want Behind the Words: Developing Empathy

Monica's powerful tool for not taking things personally
Looking for what someone really wants behind their hurtful or critical words
Getting out of your own lens to see through theirs
Understanding that anger or meanness often reflects their own pain
Holding yourself steady without accepting abuse

(28:00) Monica's Morning Routine & The Power of Silence

Her simple but effective routine: coffee, prayer, exercise
Why she wakes up before everyone else
Karena's tip: taking walks outside when you need to reset during gatherings
The importance of movement and fresh air for managing anxiety

(29:00) Changing Your State & Being the Light

When you're feeling down, share with others who need support
Volunteering or calling someone going through a difficult time
How giving changes your state and helps you appreciate what you have
Walking into a room with positive energy—it's contagious
Using visualization like a white light of protection around you
You have the power to change the energy of an entire room

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