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Turning 40 and finding the wound beneath the weight
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What if the thing you’ve been trying to fix your whole life isn’t actually the thing that needs fixing? At 38, Patty Cabot began a journey that would unravel decades of emotional pain, body image struggles, and silence surrounding childhood trauma. In this raw and inspiring conversation, Patty shares how deep inner work—not dieting—finally brought her peace, perspective, and a surprising path to love. If you’ve ever felt stuck or wondered why certain patterns keep repeating, this episode offers powerful insight into healing, self-trust, and reclaiming your story.
Guest Bio
Beginning in her teens, Patty Cabot battled drastic weight fluctuations. Desperate to break the cycle and thinking it was what prevented her from meeting men, in her late 30s Patty embarked on a therapeutic journey that led to her unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Over 12 years she worked with her therapist and EMDR, a chiropractor to release trapped “fight or flight” responses, a sex therapist and attended group therapy for sexual abuse. Patty published Not That Girl Anymore, a memoir about the alternative therapies she explored in the hopes of undoing the ruin within to claim the happiness she – and everyone else struggling with trauma – deserves.
Turning 40 and finding the wound beneath the weight
What if the thing you’ve been battling for decades - your weight, your relationships, your shame - was never the real issue? This week’s guest, Patty Cabot, spent 20 years trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, self-doubt, and emotional isolation before a turning point at 38 led her to finally confront the childhood trauma she thought she had long since buried and forgotten about. Through therapy, unconventional healing modalities, and a fierce determination to find love and wholeness, Patty transformed her life from the inside out.
In this episode, you'll hear about:
- *Trigger warning* discussion of childhood sexual abuse; no details
- How a cycle of weight loss and gain led Patty to uncover deeper unresolved trauma
- The transformative power of EMDR therapy and what it taught her about her past
- Why anger was the only emotion she could access, and how she learned to feel more
- How vulnerability became a gateway to healing and connection
- The role running (literally!) played in finding love and confidence
- Why publishing her book helped lift the final layer of shame
- The profound insight: “it’s not your shame, and it’s not your secret to keep”
Patty Cabot’s midlife transition is a powerful example of what’s possible when we stop treating the symptom and start addressing the root cause. After decades of believing her weight and romantic struggles were the problem, Patty finally faced her childhood trauma head-on, peeling back the layers of self-protection to rediscover her worth and capacity for love. Her healing wasn’t linear, but it was bold, and in the process, she transformed shame into self-acceptance and silence into storytelling. Today, she’s helping others believe that healing is not only possible—it’s worth it.
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Guest Resources
Get your FREE copy of Patty’s book, Not That Girl Anymore
Connect with Patty on Facebook
Connect with Patty on Instagram
Do you have the Midlife Ick?
Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick
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The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications
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