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5 Signs You’re Dating a Covert Narcissist (and How to Break Free)
Manage episode 518950503 series 3447423
Helen Villiers, psychotherapist and narcissist expert, joins me to unpack the hidden dynamics of narcissism. From love bombing and gaslighting to the trauma bond that keeps victims trapped, we explore why it’s so hard to leave, how narcissists use empathy as a weapon, and the powerful steps to reclaiming your identity and self-worth.
Helen Villiers is a psychotherapist, coach, and author specializing in narcissism, emotional abuse, neurodivergence, and recovery. She is the co-author of the Sunday Times bestseller 'You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse', hosts the popular podcast 'The Liberation Effect', and has been featured on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, The Mirror, and Hello! Magazine.
Follow Helen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenvilliersma
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@helenvilliersma
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@helenvilliersma
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HelenVilliersMA/
⌚️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Introduction
04:15 - The Most Surprising Thing About Narcissism
05:50 - The Five Core Traits of Narcissism
08:53 - Narcissism: Personality Type, Disorder, or Both?
10:15 - When Self-Absorption Becomes Harmful
10:55 - Love Bombing and Early Red Flags
14:14 - The Science Behind Trauma Bonds
17:00 - Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing?
18:10 - Do Narcissists Target Empaths?
21:01 - Confidence vs Control: How to Tell the Difference
22:48 - The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Explained
28:15 - The Emotional Fallout After The Discard
31:06 - The “Gray Rock” Method: How To Escape a Narcissist
32:45 - Rebuilding Identity After Narcissistic Abuse
38:00 - Overcoming the Fear of Being “Selfish”
39:30 - Perfectionism and the Fear of Judgment
45:30 - How Therapy and Community Help Recovery
47:16 - Choosing the Right Therapist (and Avoiding the Wrong One)
50:28 - How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
51:58 - How Long Healing Takes (and What It Looks Like)
54:45 - Why People-Pleasing is Toxic
56:35 - Can You Heal Without a Therapist?
59:04 - What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like
01:01:15 - Final Message: It’s Not You.
🔗 CONNECT WITH ME
📱 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLegalQueeen
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/thelegalqueen
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thelegalqueen
🎙 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0CKHk64lHzoJUz87tmiAMj?si=d3dbc70b3be943f1
🌍︎ Moloney Family Law Website: https://moloneyfamilylaw.com
If you would like to talk to a member of our team about a 1 hour consultation to discuss your situation! You can do this by sending an email to: [email protected]
Chapters
1. Introduction (00:00:00)
2. The Most Surprising Thing About Narcissism (00:04:15)
3. The Five Core Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (00:05:50)
4. Narcissism: Personality Type, Disorder, or Both? (00:08:53)
5. Love Bombing and Early Red Flags (00:10:15)
6. The Science Behind Trauma Bonds (00:14:14)
7. Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing? (00:17:00)
8. Do Narcissists Target Empaths? (00:18:10)
9. Confidence vs Control: How to Tell the Difference (00:21:01)
10. The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Explained (00:22:48)
11. The Emotional Fallout After The Discard (00:28:15)
12. The “Gray Rock” Method: How To Escape a Narcissist (00:31:06)
13. Rebuilding Identity After Narcissistic Abuse (00:32:45)
14. Overcoming the Fear of Being “Selfish” (00:38:00)
15. Perfectionism and the Fear of Judgment (00:39:30)
16. How Therapy and Community Help Recovery (00:45:30)
17. Choosing the Right Therapist (and Avoiding the Wrong One) (00:47:16)
18. How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (00:50:28)
19. How Long Healing Takes (and What It Looks Like) (00:51:58)
20. Why People-Pleasing is Toxic (00:54:45)
21. Can You Heal Without a Therapist? (00:56:35)
22. What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like (00:59:04)
23. Final Message: It’s Not You. You’re Not the Problem (01:01:15)
125 episodes
Manage episode 518950503 series 3447423
Helen Villiers, psychotherapist and narcissist expert, joins me to unpack the hidden dynamics of narcissism. From love bombing and gaslighting to the trauma bond that keeps victims trapped, we explore why it’s so hard to leave, how narcissists use empathy as a weapon, and the powerful steps to reclaiming your identity and self-worth.
Helen Villiers is a psychotherapist, coach, and author specializing in narcissism, emotional abuse, neurodivergence, and recovery. She is the co-author of the Sunday Times bestseller 'You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse', hosts the popular podcast 'The Liberation Effect', and has been featured on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, The Mirror, and Hello! Magazine.
Follow Helen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenvilliersma
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@helenvilliersma
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@helenvilliersma
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HelenVilliersMA/
⌚️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Introduction
04:15 - The Most Surprising Thing About Narcissism
05:50 - The Five Core Traits of Narcissism
08:53 - Narcissism: Personality Type, Disorder, or Both?
10:15 - When Self-Absorption Becomes Harmful
10:55 - Love Bombing and Early Red Flags
14:14 - The Science Behind Trauma Bonds
17:00 - Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing?
18:10 - Do Narcissists Target Empaths?
21:01 - Confidence vs Control: How to Tell the Difference
22:48 - The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Explained
28:15 - The Emotional Fallout After The Discard
31:06 - The “Gray Rock” Method: How To Escape a Narcissist
32:45 - Rebuilding Identity After Narcissistic Abuse
38:00 - Overcoming the Fear of Being “Selfish”
39:30 - Perfectionism and the Fear of Judgment
45:30 - How Therapy and Community Help Recovery
47:16 - Choosing the Right Therapist (and Avoiding the Wrong One)
50:28 - How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
51:58 - How Long Healing Takes (and What It Looks Like)
54:45 - Why People-Pleasing is Toxic
56:35 - Can You Heal Without a Therapist?
59:04 - What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like
01:01:15 - Final Message: It’s Not You.
🔗 CONNECT WITH ME
📱 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLegalQueeen
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/thelegalqueen
🎵 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@thelegalqueen
🎙 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0CKHk64lHzoJUz87tmiAMj?si=d3dbc70b3be943f1
🌍︎ Moloney Family Law Website: https://moloneyfamilylaw.com
If you would like to talk to a member of our team about a 1 hour consultation to discuss your situation! You can do this by sending an email to: [email protected]
Chapters
1. Introduction (00:00:00)
2. The Most Surprising Thing About Narcissism (00:04:15)
3. The Five Core Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (00:05:50)
4. Narcissism: Personality Type, Disorder, or Both? (00:08:53)
5. Love Bombing and Early Red Flags (00:10:15)
6. The Science Behind Trauma Bonds (00:14:14)
7. Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing? (00:17:00)
8. Do Narcissists Target Empaths? (00:18:10)
9. Confidence vs Control: How to Tell the Difference (00:21:01)
10. The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Explained (00:22:48)
11. The Emotional Fallout After The Discard (00:28:15)
12. The “Gray Rock” Method: How To Escape a Narcissist (00:31:06)
13. Rebuilding Identity After Narcissistic Abuse (00:32:45)
14. Overcoming the Fear of Being “Selfish” (00:38:00)
15. Perfectionism and the Fear of Judgment (00:39:30)
16. How Therapy and Community Help Recovery (00:45:30)
17. Choosing the Right Therapist (and Avoiding the Wrong One) (00:47:16)
18. How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (00:50:28)
19. How Long Healing Takes (and What It Looks Like) (00:51:58)
20. Why People-Pleasing is Toxic (00:54:45)
21. Can You Heal Without a Therapist? (00:56:35)
22. What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like (00:59:04)
23. Final Message: It’s Not You. You’re Not the Problem (01:01:15)
125 episodes
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