Prepared For War Yet Met With Love
Manage episode 514585694 series 3670141
Survival wasn’t a phase for Frankco, it was the air he breathed. Abusive home. Public bullying. “Pick a struggle” became “I had all of them.” He fled Bermuda, lived homeless in NYC, cycled through addiction, prison, and an overdose before clawing his way back. Today he’s nine years sober and building solutions for the island that shaped him studying how smallness, isolation, and culture complicate gang violence and collective healing. This conversation is a blueprint for moving from rage to responsibility, from secrecy to systems change, and from self-protection to purpose.
- Why survival mode feels “normal” when it starts in childhood
- The cost of being visibly different in a tiny place—and the empathy it can forge
- Forgiving without forgetting (and why timing matters)
- Why leaving home helps you heal—and why coming back finishes the job
- How to turn lived experience into research, reform, and community spaces that actually help
🎙️ What We Talk About:
- Survival as identity: abuse at home, danger in the streets, and the “always on” nervous system
- Small island dynamics: proximity, gossip, church culture, “what happens in this house…” and their impact on trauma
- Addiction & carceral cycles: coping, consequences, and the moment honesty beats denial
- That conversation with his father: compassion without erasure; accountability without rage running the show
- Recovery as a map: self-awareness → reprogramming → reinvention (Leticia’s 3-phase exit framework in action)
- Returning to Bermuda: triggers as teachers; being met with unexpected respect and apology
- From pain to policy: centering lived experience in research on gang violence and community responses
🔑 Key Takeaways:
“I forgave him—but I did not forget. Not forgetting is how we heal on purpose.”
“Leaving saved me. Coming home finished the work.”
“Anger can protect you. But if it owns you, it poisons you.”
“Your story is not a stain. It’s leverage.”
🙌 Why This Episode Matters:
High-achieving women (and allies) often carry entire communities on shoulders built in survival. Frankco’s story shows how to honor your past without being held hostage by it—and how to build spaces where vulnerability is power, not liability. If your healing needs to become policy, practice, or a platform, this one hands you language and spine.
🔗 Resources & Links:
- 💣 Download the Survival Mode Exit Blueprint
- 👉🏾 Join the Survival Mode Exodus Membership
- 🎧 Subscribe to Survival Mode Disrupted: The Podcast on YouTube
- ✍🏾 Subscribe to Survival Mode Disrupted: The Newsletter on LinkedIn
- 💬 Book a 1:1 Session with Leticia
- 📖 Order Survival Mode Exit Plan Book
- 😉 Join the free FB Group Disrupting Survival Mode
60 episodes