Medicine often forgets the people who live just beyond the call room: the spouses, the partners, the ones holding it together while the system pulls physicians apart. In this conversation, we meet Hannah and Chris, a couple who turned conflict into clarity.

As the husband of a physician, Chris found himself isolated and invisible during Hannah’s residency. What followed were hard conversations, conscious choices, and a shared commitment to rewrite the rules. Together, they challenge the unspoken norms of medicine, from toxic gratitude and performative suffering to the misplaced belief that having a family somehow weakens you as a physician.

They also introduce their project, The Other Side Med, aimed at supporting the often-ignored partners of those in medicine and building a new vision of success that includes relationships, rest, and real human connection.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• The origin story of The Other Side Med and why male spouses of doctors need their own space
• Chris’s emotional turning point, and the conversation that changed everything
• The unspoken rules in medicine that quietly punish anyone who colors outside the lines
• The cultural gaslighting of residents: ‘if you can’t deal with it, change your choices’
• How Hannah protected herself during pregnancy without asking permission
• Why 70% of what happens in medicine would get you fired anywhere else
• You don’t need to leave your personal life at the door, and why integration makes doctors better
• The difference between transactional and relational medicine
• Their personal non-negotiables and how you can start defining your own
• Learning to say “no” with intention, knowing it will get easier every time

• “You're not alone.” Whether you’re getting married, raising kids, or prioritizing your health, there’s no one right way to do medicine.
• Define your non-negotiables. What do you need (relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually) to feel whole? Those are your anchors.
• You don’t need permission. From scheduling OB visits while pregnant to creating boundaries, advocacy doesn’t require approval.
• Toxic appreciation is real. Gratitude shouldn’t be used to normalize exhaustion or mistreatment.
• Say no, and mean it. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Protecting your time and energy isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

Learn more about the Hippocratic Collective here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.