Dating with Purpose: From Single to Successful Couple | Stacy Hubbard | #143
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Dating requires intention and skill, whether you're looking for fun or seeking a lifelong partnership. Marriage and family therapist Stacey Hubbard joins us to share her Gottman-based approach for singles navigating the relationship landscape.
• Building friendship first is crucial when dating - take things slowly and watch for signs of trustworthiness
• The honeymoon phase typically lasts 6-18 months with feel-good chemicals making us more trusting
• Understanding the three phases of relationships: limerence (honeymoon), trust-building, and commitment
• Many couples skip from honeymoon phase to commitment without properly building trust
• Trust indicators include honesty, transparency, proof of alliance, ethical actions, and accountability
• Develop a "positive habit of mind" by scanning for what's good rather than focusing on flaws
• Successful couples dedicate at least six hours a week to their relationship
• Focus on "unique value" (personality, values, interests) rather than just "mate value" (physical attraction)
Check out the Lessons in Love for Singles workshop at gottman.com under the singles dropdown, or visit staceyhubbard.com for more resources.
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Dr. Dave Schramm:
Dr. Liz Hale:
Chapters
1. Singles Need Dating Guidance Too (00:00:00)
2. Welcome Stacy Hubbard (00:01:15)
3. The Way We Date Matters (00:02:11)
4. How Did You Develop This Curriculum? (00:03:15)
5. What Goals Should Dating People Have? (00:05:24)
6. What Boundaries Should Single People Consider? (00:07:27)
7. How Long Should A Couple Date For? (00:09:38)
8. Phase 1 - Limerence (00:12:06)
9. Phase 2 - Trust Building (00:12:59)
10. More About Trust Building (00:15:06)
11. Dating Workshop Details (00:16:44)
12. Mate value vs Unique Value (00:18:52)
13. After Dating, What Were the Surprises in Your Marriage? (00:22:29)
14. [Ad] Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast (00:24:31)
15. Did You and Your Husband Attend Trainings? (00:25:09)
16. (Cont.) After Dating, What Were the Surprises in Your Marriage? (00:25:09)
17. Developing a Positive Habit of Mind (00:27:09)
18. The Key To A Stronger Marriage Connection (00:31:26)
19. Stacy's Resources (00:33:27)
20. Stacy's Takeaways (00:37:34)
21. Liz's Takeaway (00:38:54)
22. Six Hours a Week for Stronger Connections (00:39:52)
23. Dave's Takeaway (00:40:45)
145 episodes