Conflict Avoidance and Chaos Gremlins
Manage episode 498939041 series 3302283
We explore the crucial difference between conflict avoidance and avoidant attachment, examining how avoiding small issues creates bigger problems in long-term relationships. The person who avoids conflict actually controls the relationship dynamic, creating a pressure cooker where ten skipped conversations eventually lead to one explosive confrontation.
• Conflict avoidance is different from avoidant attachment, though they're often confused
• Avoiding issues in long-term relationships causes problems to grow larger over time
• The conflict-avoidant person paradoxically controls the relationship by setting its pace
• Trust requires truth plus timeliness plus completeness—avoidance breaks timeliness
• When we think we're "letting things go," our biology often holds onto tension anyway
• Secure attachment approaches conflict directly with clear communication
• Conflict avoidance can lead to ending valuable relationships when seeing others' pain becomes unbearable
Stay curious and stay uncomfortable.
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Chapters
1. Conflict Avoidance and Chaos Gremlins (00:00:00)
2. Welcome to Speak Plainly Podcast (00:00:35)
3. Distinguishing Types of Avoidance (00:03:16)
4. The Downside of Conflict Avoidance (00:06:04)
5. How Small Issues Become Relationship Killers (00:12:50)
6. Trust Equation: Truth + Timeliness + Completeness (00:17:13)
7. Secure Attachment and Handling Conflict Well (00:23:39)
8. Closing Thoughts and Personal Message (00:29:05)
91 episodes