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What happens when the identities that make you who you are seem fundamentally at odds with each other? How do you reconcile being a mental health therapist who didn't recognize her own ADHD until their late 30s? Or being raised in a conservative Christian faith while gradually understanding your own queerness?These questions form the heart of this deeply personal episode where I share my journey of discovering parts of myself that had been hiding in plain sight.

For years, I chalked up my struggles with time management, emotional regulation, and constantly shifting interests as simply personality quirks or the normal challenges of parenting three children while running a therapy practice. Little did I realize that these were classic manifestations of ADHD in high-achieving women—a presentation rarely discussed in traditional mental health training.

The pandemic's forced pause created space for self-reflection that led to profound realizations about how I'd been masking not just my neurodivergence, but other aspects of my identity that didn't fit neatly into the boxes I was raised to occupy. Through social media, supportive communities like Progressive Asian American Christians, and my own therapeutic work, I began to understand how the pressure to assimilate and belong can keep us from seeing ourselves clearly.

What I've discovered is that unmasking—allowing ourselves to be authentically seen—requires specific conditions: quiet reflection time, the ability to observe ourselves without judgment, compassionate relationships that celebrate our differences, and sometimes professional guidance to help navigate the complexities of self-discovery.

If you're navigating seemingly irreconcilable identities or feel like you're constantly working harder than everyone else just to appear "normal," this episode is my hand reaching out to say you're not alone. Your journey toward authenticity is worth every uncomfortable moment, and finding spaces where all your identities can peacefully coexist is not just possible—it's transformative.

Come follow me on instagram @heyangelatam and my newsletter here. Looking forward to adventuring with you!