This week on the show:

🚜 FARMER WANTS A WIFE AUSTRALIA 2025 - Claire is still creating drama, Farmer Thomas goes walkabout and Farmer Jack arrives

· Producers keep Farmer Thomas from filming to create drama with the ladies

· The ghost of Claire is a nightmare for Clarette

· Farmer Jack L from Tassie rewrites the rulebook and makes the ladies touch cow poo

· Farmer Thomas is not a zombie and does not eat brains. We think?

💘 LOVE HOTEL - Hanging at the Love Hotel with Ashley, saucy Lu and boring Giselle and Shannon

· Shannon turns this into an episode Find My Family with Earl the Pearl

· Ashley says Ralph kisses like a lizard and is already avoiding sex

· What’s more she’s already talking about kids with Wale

· Luann and James are the only ones having sex on this show

💰BILLION DOLLAR PLAYGROUND - Another week, another dodgy primary guest

· We uncover more scandals - military vet Curtis Tofa had a guest tragically die at one of his retreats

· The laundry once again challenges the Luxico housekeepers

· The guests want steak and eggs for brekkie. Why are there no preference sheet meetings?

· Power Play - JB the butler is coming for Jasmin the newbie's Head Concierge job

🍷THE VALLEY – Janet the villain strikes again, we get Danny’s tiredness, is Nia the most beautiful woman on reality TV?

· Janet tells everyone in her confessional that Nia attended Al-Anon Meetings. Which goes against Al-Anon rules

· NBC has to do major damage control after Janet's confessional and cuts all mentions of Al-Anon, but we still saw it in Australia

· Janet is not feeling the love this season with major fan backlash

· Does Danny have a drinking problem? Was he drunk, exhausted or both?

· Nia's backstory about going from being homeless to Miss USA is so inspiring. Plus she is frickin stunning

🌹ROSE AND THORN - Below Deck Down Under is underwhelming, Mamamia’s Strife Season 2 premieres, Summer House ends and the Alone Australia experience – Fleur sort of it did

· Below Deck Down Under has been boring but we can't wait for next season with the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City crossover

· Captain Jason is selling custom kimonos and is now based in Bali

· Bri and Harry breakup but we're not sure about Marina and Nick

· Mamamia-based Strife season 2 helps us relive our glory days in glossy mags and takes us inside the world of women's digital media

· Summer House Finale - RIP Jesse and Lexi, Jesse moves on with Erika Jayne – we’re calling it Jerika

· Alone Australia - Tasmania is brutal, camping is overrated and Fleur trained with the show's survival guide. What the???

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