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51: Impossible Parenting and the Mental Load Meltdown with Christina Page

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Manage episode 504286621 series 3597561
Content provided by Kristen Parise. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Kristen Parise or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
The Hole Shebang: "Impossible Parenting and the Mental Load Meltdown" with Christina Page Episode Overview

Ready for some real talk about parenting? Kristen sits down with Christina Page, a registered psychotherapist who turned her own postpartum struggles into a thriving practice dedicated to supporting overwhelmed parents. From the "Hunger Games" of summer camp registration to the impossible standards of modern motherhood, Christina breaks down why parenting feels harder than ever—and what we can actually do about it.

What You'll Learn
  • Why parenting really IS harder for this generation (it's not just in your head)
  • The truth about "impossible parenting" culture and how it's destroying our mental health
  • Why 30% attunement is actually enough for secure attachment (yes, really)
  • How to complete your stress cycle instead of just white-knuckling through it
  • Practical strategies for managing parental rage without losing your mind
  • Why community isn't nice-to-have—it's essential for survival
Episode Highlights From Hospital Social Worker to Perinatal Mental Health Expert

Christina's journey from general hospital social work to specializing in perinatal mental health wasn't planned—it was born from necessity. After being blindsided by her own postpartum depression and anxiety at 10 months postpartum, she realized how unprepared she was despite thinking she "knew what she was getting into." This personal experience catapulted her into specialized training and eventually launching Whole Family Psychotherapy, now a team of five therapists supporting parents through individual, couples, and group therapy.

The Perfect Storm: Why Modern Parenting Is Actually Harder

Christina breaks down the concrete reasons why this generation of parents is struggling more than previous ones:

  • Dual-income households with less support than any generation in history
  • Loss of intergenerational support systems
  • Information overload leading to decision paralysis and reduced confidence
  • Social media's curated perfection creating impossible standards
  • The hyper-independence myth that tells us we should be able to do it all
Decoding "Impossible Parenting" Culture

Drawing from researcher Olivia Scobie's work, Christina explains the toxic values of modern parenting culture:

  • The Investment Myth: The belief that we must sacrifice everything upfront or risk "screwing up" our kids (spoiler: 30% attunement is enough for secure attachment)
  • The Martyrdom Complex: The dangerous narrative that the more we sacrifice, the more we love
  • The Fear Industrial Complex: How constant surveillance and worry actually increase anxiety rather than keeping kids safe
The Stress Cycle: Why Screaming in Cornfields Actually Works

Christina walks us through Emily Nagoski's four-step stress cycle—triggered, activated, discharge, rest—and explains why most parents get stuck in an endless loop between the first two steps. She shares practical discharge strategies:

  • Humming or singing (stimulates the vagus nerve)
  • Cold exposure (face in ice water, cold showers)
  • Movement (even just running up and down stairs)
  • The power of a 30-40 second bear hug
  • Yes, screaming into the void (literally)
Community as Medicine: The Neighborhood Success Story

Christina shares the beautiful story of how her neighborhood mom network began with one brave woman leaving a letter in another mom's mailbox saying "I really need a friend." What started as two isolated mothers has grown into a community of 70-80 families with regular gatherings, spontaneous evening visits, and genuine village-style support.

Episode Chapters

00:00-03:00: Introduction and the Summer Camp "Hunger Games" 03:00-05:30: Christina's Journey from Hospital Social Work to Perinatal Mental Health 05:30-08:36: Why Modern Parenting Is Actually Harder (It's Not Just You) 08:36-11:09: The Information Overload Problem and Social Media's Impact 11:09-14:14: What Clients Are Really Coming In With (Spoiler: They're Overwhelmed) 14:14-17:14: The Importance of Support Systems and Learning to Accept Help 17:14-19:50: What Healing Actually Looks Like for Parents 19:50-22:51: Breaking Down "Impossible Parenting" Culture 22:51-25:45: The Science of Stress and How to Actually Discharge It 25:45-28:25: Building Community in an Isolated World 28:25: Final Thoughts and Resources

Key Takeaways
  • It gets better: Christina's number one message to new parents struggling in the darkness
  • It's normal for this to suck: Permission to feel the hard parts without shame
  • 30% attunement is enough: You don't need to be perfect 99% of the time
  • Discharge is required: Your body needs to complete the stress cycle, not just endure it
  • Community is medicine: Intentionally building connections isn't luxury—it's necessity
Connect with Christina Connect with The Hole Shebang Resources Mentioned
  • Burnout by Emily Nagoski - Understanding the stress cycle
  • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - Sexual health after babies
  • Impossible Parenting by Olivia Scobie - Breaking down modern parenting culture
Christina's Theme Song

"Defying Gravity" from Wicked - perfectly capturing her leap-first, figure-it-out-later approach to building something meaningful.

If you're a parent feeling overwhelmed, remember: you're not broken, the system is. This conversation is proof that with the right support, understanding, and community, we can navigate this beautiful, impossible journey of parenthood together.

  continue reading

53 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 504286621 series 3597561
Content provided by Kristen Parise. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Kristen Parise or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.
The Hole Shebang: "Impossible Parenting and the Mental Load Meltdown" with Christina Page Episode Overview

Ready for some real talk about parenting? Kristen sits down with Christina Page, a registered psychotherapist who turned her own postpartum struggles into a thriving practice dedicated to supporting overwhelmed parents. From the "Hunger Games" of summer camp registration to the impossible standards of modern motherhood, Christina breaks down why parenting feels harder than ever—and what we can actually do about it.

What You'll Learn
  • Why parenting really IS harder for this generation (it's not just in your head)
  • The truth about "impossible parenting" culture and how it's destroying our mental health
  • Why 30% attunement is actually enough for secure attachment (yes, really)
  • How to complete your stress cycle instead of just white-knuckling through it
  • Practical strategies for managing parental rage without losing your mind
  • Why community isn't nice-to-have—it's essential for survival
Episode Highlights From Hospital Social Worker to Perinatal Mental Health Expert

Christina's journey from general hospital social work to specializing in perinatal mental health wasn't planned—it was born from necessity. After being blindsided by her own postpartum depression and anxiety at 10 months postpartum, she realized how unprepared she was despite thinking she "knew what she was getting into." This personal experience catapulted her into specialized training and eventually launching Whole Family Psychotherapy, now a team of five therapists supporting parents through individual, couples, and group therapy.

The Perfect Storm: Why Modern Parenting Is Actually Harder

Christina breaks down the concrete reasons why this generation of parents is struggling more than previous ones:

  • Dual-income households with less support than any generation in history
  • Loss of intergenerational support systems
  • Information overload leading to decision paralysis and reduced confidence
  • Social media's curated perfection creating impossible standards
  • The hyper-independence myth that tells us we should be able to do it all
Decoding "Impossible Parenting" Culture

Drawing from researcher Olivia Scobie's work, Christina explains the toxic values of modern parenting culture:

  • The Investment Myth: The belief that we must sacrifice everything upfront or risk "screwing up" our kids (spoiler: 30% attunement is enough for secure attachment)
  • The Martyrdom Complex: The dangerous narrative that the more we sacrifice, the more we love
  • The Fear Industrial Complex: How constant surveillance and worry actually increase anxiety rather than keeping kids safe
The Stress Cycle: Why Screaming in Cornfields Actually Works

Christina walks us through Emily Nagoski's four-step stress cycle—triggered, activated, discharge, rest—and explains why most parents get stuck in an endless loop between the first two steps. She shares practical discharge strategies:

  • Humming or singing (stimulates the vagus nerve)
  • Cold exposure (face in ice water, cold showers)
  • Movement (even just running up and down stairs)
  • The power of a 30-40 second bear hug
  • Yes, screaming into the void (literally)
Community as Medicine: The Neighborhood Success Story

Christina shares the beautiful story of how her neighborhood mom network began with one brave woman leaving a letter in another mom's mailbox saying "I really need a friend." What started as two isolated mothers has grown into a community of 70-80 families with regular gatherings, spontaneous evening visits, and genuine village-style support.

Episode Chapters

00:00-03:00: Introduction and the Summer Camp "Hunger Games" 03:00-05:30: Christina's Journey from Hospital Social Work to Perinatal Mental Health 05:30-08:36: Why Modern Parenting Is Actually Harder (It's Not Just You) 08:36-11:09: The Information Overload Problem and Social Media's Impact 11:09-14:14: What Clients Are Really Coming In With (Spoiler: They're Overwhelmed) 14:14-17:14: The Importance of Support Systems and Learning to Accept Help 17:14-19:50: What Healing Actually Looks Like for Parents 19:50-22:51: Breaking Down "Impossible Parenting" Culture 22:51-25:45: The Science of Stress and How to Actually Discharge It 25:45-28:25: Building Community in an Isolated World 28:25: Final Thoughts and Resources

Key Takeaways
  • It gets better: Christina's number one message to new parents struggling in the darkness
  • It's normal for this to suck: Permission to feel the hard parts without shame
  • 30% attunement is enough: You don't need to be perfect 99% of the time
  • Discharge is required: Your body needs to complete the stress cycle, not just endure it
  • Community is medicine: Intentionally building connections isn't luxury—it's necessity
Connect with Christina Connect with The Hole Shebang Resources Mentioned
  • Burnout by Emily Nagoski - Understanding the stress cycle
  • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - Sexual health after babies
  • Impossible Parenting by Olivia Scobie - Breaking down modern parenting culture
Christina's Theme Song

"Defying Gravity" from Wicked - perfectly capturing her leap-first, figure-it-out-later approach to building something meaningful.

If you're a parent feeling overwhelmed, remember: you're not broken, the system is. This conversation is proof that with the right support, understanding, and community, we can navigate this beautiful, impossible journey of parenthood together.

  continue reading

53 episodes

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