9. SCHOOL SERIES: IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead

ADHD Mums

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1M ago 20:24

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You walk into a school meeting hoping for support—and walk out feeling like the unreasonable parent again.

In this no-fluff episode, Jane is joined by returning guest and neuroaffirming educator Millie Carr to rip the curtain off how Individual Education Plans (IEPs) are actually playing out in real classrooms. From broken communication and missing documentation to defensive staff and performative inclusion policies, this episode is a sharp, validating look at what’s really happening behind the school gate.

If you’ve ever been told, ‘we can’t do that for everyone’, ‘they seem fine’, or your child’s support plan was ignored by day one of term—this one will make you feel less alone, and a hell of a lot more prepared.

💡 What We Cover:

Why teachers often get defensive in IEP meetings (and how to work around it)
The myth of “equal treatment” vs the reality of legal equity in education
What to say when schools refuse an adjustment because ‘it’s not fair to others’
The emotional toll of feeling dismissed—and how to stay focused in meetings
What federal laws actually say about reasonable adjustments (and how to quote them)
The serious issue of IEPs not being shared, read, or honoured—especially at the start of term
Why parents must document everything—even if nothing changes
Real consequences (or lack of) for schools that fail to follow inclusion policies
What to prepare, bring, and track if you ever need to escalate or file a complaint

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/

Related Episodes:

SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast
SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast
SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Listen in Spotify | Listen in Apple Podcast

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)

👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

📚 References & Further Reading

Disability Standards for Education 2005
Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government
Disability Discrimination Act 1992
View the full legislation on the Federal Register

🎧 Listen Now

If you’ve ever sat through a 15-minute IEP meeting where nothing changed, or wondered how much louder you have to get before someone listens—this episode is your script, your validation, and your reminder:

You’re not too much. The system is too underprepared.

Hit play. Forward it to your child’s support coordinator. Save it for your next meeting.

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MORE RESOURCES:

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Topics Covered In This Episode:

IEP meetings ADHD Australia, neurodivergent inclusion school, disability standards for education, equitable adjustments vs equal treatment, ADHD fidgets in class, schools ignoring support plans, teacher defensiveness IEP, NCCD and disability evidence, parent advocacy for neurodivergent kids, documenting school issues, escalation in school systems, broken inclusion plans, legal rights ADHD school, how to prepare for an IEP, fidget bans and discrimination, masking in the classroom, disability support Victoria education, Millie Carr ADHD, ADHD Mums podcast

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