58. Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence

ADHD Mums

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3d ago 34:46

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When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.

In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad parenting” through a neurodiverse lens. From ARFID and sensory overload to the grief and joy of parenting differently, this episode challenges the idea of what a “good parent” looks like and celebrates authenticity over appearances.

What You’ll Hear

Tracey’s journey from reality TV to raising an ADHD + autistic son — and discovering her own diagnosis
The hidden grief of parenting a child who doesn’t fit the mould — and how to hold both love and loss at once
What ARFID really looks like in real life (and why it’s not just “fussy eating”)
Why “structure” isn’t always the solution for neurodivergent families — and when it can become oppressive
The difference between co-regulation and control: what actually helps during a meltdown
How to reframe “fairness” in families where everyone’s needs look different

This Episode Is For You If...

You’ve ever felt judged in public for your child’s behaviour
You’re raising an ADHD or autistic child and constantly second-guessing yourself
You’ve wondered why “routine” doesn’t work for your family the way it seems to for others
You’re craving a conversation that feels real, not sugar-coated

Key Takeaway

What looks like chaos is often communication. When we stop chasing “good parenting” and start embracing true connection, our families thrive in their own rhythm — even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

Resources Mentioned

Inclusive Mums Club — Tracey Jewel’s Perth-based and online community for neurodivergent families. Free membership and sensory-friendly events.
ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) information — Raising Children Network
Dr Brené Brown — Atlas of the Heart and The Power of Vulnerability (on emotional awareness and co-regulation).
Check out Tracey's IG: @traceyjewel_ify

Related ADHD Mums Episodes

🎧 The Emotional Load of Raising Neurodivergent Girls — And How to Lighten It — Finding compassion for yourself in the middle of invisible labour.
🎧 Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year — How to stop blaming yourself when the system isn’t built for you.

Listen Now

🎧 Spotify | Apple Podcasts | ADHDMums.com.au

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