15. QUICK RESET: He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park

ADHD Mums

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If your partner’s dreaming of overseas holidays while you’re barely surviving the playground — this episode is for you.

This Quick Reset is a brutally honest look at what 'holiday' means when you’re the default parent, the nervous system regulator, and the one who never actually gets to rest. If your body flinches at the word “vacation” because it remembers meltdowns, sleepless nights, and judgmental relatives — you’re not alone.

Jane unpacks the invisible trauma of parenting while travelling, why holidays can feel like executive function overload, and how memory, shame, and nervous system trauma shape our future planning.

You’ll laugh, cry, and probably cancel the family road trip — but you’ll feel deeply seen.

IN THIS EPISODE:

The five-step emotional cycle of ‘family holidays’
Why past chaos makes your brain reject future hope
The mental load of pretending you're relaxed
Photo albums that trigger survival memories
What to say when your partner doesn’t get it
How to redefine rest when even leaving the house feels hard
Naming nervous system trauma without shame
Why opting out isn’t negative — it’s protective

This episode is for you if:
– You feel guilt for dreading holidays you’re “meant” to enjoy
– You’ve walked into school term more tired than you left
– You want to create memories, but not at the cost of your sanity

Resources & Links:

Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group
More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop

🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:
If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing.

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast
S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast
S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast
S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast
S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast

S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast
S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

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COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected].

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
holiday trauma, ADHD mums, parenting burnout, sensory overload, neurodivergent parenting, executive dysfunction, invisible load, travel shame, mental load, overstimulation, family expectations, gentle parenting realities, meltdown management, trauma-informed parenting, ADHD mum life, redefining rest, survival mode, vacation anxiety, co-regulation, parenting triggers.

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