Is drinking stopping you from becoming the parent (and person) you want to be? Why is alcohol so deeply woven into fatherhood and what does it take for men to resist those powerful cultural norms and rewrite their story for good? In this honest and inspiring episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey sits down with Luke Jones, sober transformation coach and NLP master practitioner, to explore identity, masculinity, and the “aha” moments that spark lasting change.

Luke shares how alcohol slowly shifted from social glue to coping crutch, the subtle (and not-so-subtle) self-justifications men use to keep drinking, and the moment his son’s simple question forced him to confront the truth. Together, Anna and Luke shine a light on the unique pressures facing dads and offer powerful tools for mastering the discomfort of change and finding a new (genuinely fun) way forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Luke Jones, sober transformation coach for dads

04:33 From backpacking party scene to family life

06:00 Everyday drinking creeps in using alcohol as a “coping” tool

08:30 When your own kid asks if you’re an alcoholic

12:06 The pressure to keep up and blokey culture,

14:07 Why the fear of loss keeps us stuck

18:05 Personal development vs. just quitting drinking

22:08 Drinking as self-definition, who am I if not a drinker?

23:03 From self-awareness to education

26:31 Your WHY: Role modelling, fatherhood, motivation trumps fear

30:39 Social anxiety and building the muscle of sober connection

33:19 Why it’s not all-or-nothing and every attempt counts

36:27 Is this life enough? How growth and learning return after sobriety

43:14 The most common challenges dads face

44:50 Why men don’t want to talk (but desperately need to)

47:36 Luke’s advice for men: find support, vulnerability is strength

49:54 Resistance is natural, fear is overcomable… and your WHY is everything.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Luke Jones:

Luke Jones is a sober transformation coach based on the Isle of Man, dedicated to helping dads quit drinking and become stronger role models for their families - without sacrificing fun or connection.

An ICF-accredited life coach and NLP master practitioner, Luke draws from his personal journey of overcoming alcohol and regaining presence in his own family life.

Through his 12-week Sober Freedom Blueprint program, he blends practical strategies with empathy and real-life experience.

When he’s not coaching or running his business, Luke balances life as a plumber, dad, and advocate for positive change.

Connect with Luke:

Website: https://lukejonescoaching.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

To pre-order my book, What Are You Thirsty For on Amazon select here: https://amzn.eu/d/3v3T6Mq Or on Waterstones here: https://www.waterstones.com/book/what-are-you-thirsty-for/anna-donaghey/9781915780607