Rick kicks off the show with his annual adventure: attempting to buy his wife the perfect birthday gift. He and Evan both admit that surprising their wives is statistically impossible, emotionally hazardous, and spiritually defeating. Liz assures them this is universal—her husband can’t pull it off either.

Then the gang dives into the national meltdown over the new Pantone Color of the Year. Why is everyone suddenly triggered by… a shade? It’s just a color, not a geopolitical threat. But as always, Small Town Scuttlebutt is here to react to the overreactions—one hue-induced panic attack at a time.