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Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship?

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Manage episode 472050737 series 2999269
Content provided by Dr. Alexandra Solomon. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr. Alexandra Solomon or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

When two partners have a major difference between them, it can kick up a lot of dust in a relationship. One of the most common is what Dr. Alexandra calls “The Effort Mismatch”: while one partner tends to scan the relationship for problems and is always on the lookout for growth opportunities (The Change Partner), the other partner holds steady, generally accepting the relationship for what it is today (The Acceptance Partner). The good news is, when both partners understand and value their differences, this contrast between them can be a huge asset to their relationship. However, most couples with an Effort Mismatch struggle to reckon with this discrepancy, digging their heels into their side of the dynamic or wishing their partner would magically change. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the internal and relational experience of each of these two types of partners, shares tailored reminders and guidance for each of them, and explains how this difference can actually be extremely complementary, even as it poses challenges for a couple.

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

  continue reading

189 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 472050737 series 2999269
Content provided by Dr. Alexandra Solomon. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Dr. Alexandra Solomon or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

When two partners have a major difference between them, it can kick up a lot of dust in a relationship. One of the most common is what Dr. Alexandra calls “The Effort Mismatch”: while one partner tends to scan the relationship for problems and is always on the lookout for growth opportunities (The Change Partner), the other partner holds steady, generally accepting the relationship for what it is today (The Acceptance Partner). The good news is, when both partners understand and value their differences, this contrast between them can be a huge asset to their relationship. However, most couples with an Effort Mismatch struggle to reckon with this discrepancy, digging their heels into their side of the dynamic or wishing their partner would magically change. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the internal and relational experience of each of these two types of partners, shares tailored reminders and guidance for each of them, and explains how this difference can actually be extremely complementary, even as it poses challenges for a couple.

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

  continue reading

189 episodes

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