Ever wonder why you keep repeating the same painful patterns even when you know better? Trauma therapist Laurel Vander Torn reveals that trauma is more than a single event – it’s a disconnect between what your mind knows and what your body feels. This disconnect can leave you stuck in a constant state of hyper‑vigilance, poor sleep, appetite changes and messy relationships. She introduces the “window of tolerance,” the sweet spot where you can think, feel and act without dissociating or feeling like you’re vibrating out of your skin. You’ll also learn why people‑pleasing and other complex trauma responses were once survival strategies but can become maladaptive in adulthood.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Learn more about Laurel: https://www.laureltherapy.net/laurel-van-der-toorn

Laurel explains that trauma literally rewires your brain by making you more sensitive to threats, but neuroplasticity means you can change it back. By practicing new behaviors and experiencing positive reactions, clients gradually take up space and discover freedom. She shifts the focus from shame to curiosity and self‑compassion, and she stresses the importance of a strong, trusting relationship with a trauma‑informed therapist who can guide you through modalities like EMDR, cognitive‑behavioral therapy, somatic techniques and internal family systems.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction & What Is Trauma?

02:30 – People‑Pleaser Survival Strategies & Complex Trauma

05:45 – Breaking the Pattern & Closing the Loop

09:50 – Trauma Changes the Brain & Neuroplasticity

13:40 – From Shame to Curiosity & Self‑Compassion

16:50 – Trauma Therapy & Treatment Modalities

20:30 – Trauma, Mental Health & Addiction Recovery

24:50 – Self‑Healing Tools: Positive Memories, Movement & Breathing

33:40 – Holding Hope & Moving Forward

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

What is trauma and why does it feel like your body and mind are living in different realities?

How can you tell if you’re having a trauma response or just reacting to current stress?

Why do people‑pleasing and other survival strategies persist long after childhood?

What is the “window of tolerance,” and how can you stay within it?

How does complex trauma affect relationships and make familiar patterns hard to break?

Does trauma really change your brain, and can neuroplasticity help you heal?

How do you shift from shame and self‑blame to curiosity and self‑compassion?

What should you look for in a trauma therapist, and what are the main treatment modalities like EMDR and somatic therapy?

How are trauma, anxiety, depression and addiction interconnected, and what’s the order of operations for healing?

Can healing trauma reduce the symptoms of anxiety, depression or substance‑use disorders?

What are some simple trauma release exercises and somatic practices you can use at home?

How can movement, such as cardio or strength training, help process trauma stored in the body?

What are the best coping strategies for managing trauma triggers in public, like box breathing or the dive technique?

How can you rebuild safe, healthy relationships after childhood trauma?

Is there hope for a better life after complex trauma, and how do you hold onto that hope?

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