The Five Love Languages seems like such a helpful relationship tool - until it's weaponized by an abusive partner. I brought this popular book into my own abusive relationship hoping it would help us communicate better, only to watch it become a tool for coercion and manipulation against me. This week, I sit down with sexual coercion expert Nat LaJune to unpack the deeply problematic nature of Gary Chapman's bestselling book. We explore how "physical touch" as a love language is almost always weaponized by abusive men, the patriarchal origins of the book itself, and why the entire framework can enable manipulation in relationships. Nat shares insights from her years of content creation on marital coercion, including the common tactics abusers use and why simply saying "just say no" isn't realistic for women in coercive relationships. We discuss the transactional nature that develops when love languages are weaponized, how any of the five categories can become coercive tools, and the importance of focusing on what you give rather than what you receive. Our conversation also touches on the psychology behind men who feel entitled to sex, the role Christianity plays in enabling sexual coercion, and signs that your relationship may involve coercion you haven't recognized yet.

Resources Mentioned:

"27 Love Languages" piece by Nat LaJune

Connect with Nat LaJune:

Find Nat on social media: @alwaysmending and @natlajune

https://www.alwaysmending.com/

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