Baby Needs A Parent

Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

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5d ago 2:41

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As a psychologist and songwriter, I’ve made my living lecturing, consulting, writing songs and doing concerts for kids, parents and human service professionals. I’ve presented at conferences and concerts all over the world for more than 50 years.

I wrote ‘Baby Needs A Parent’ in 1980, when most single parent families were headed by Moms. These days there are more Dads heading single-parent families than there were back then, but a 2022 US census reported that approximately 80% of single-parent families with kids under 18 are still headed by women, as compared to only 20% headed by single men.

BABY NEEDS A PARENT

Baby don’t need no silver spoon G

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub G-D

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who G-C

Can give that baby some love! D-D7-G

Now every baby’s got one Mama

And every baby’s got one Pop

These days some babies live with one or the other

Cause the parents get all split-up!

Now if a baby’s only got one person

To guide that baby along

Well you might think “that’s a one-sided baby”

But maybe you might be wrong

Though everybody says that a baby girl

Needs to learn a woman’s gentle touch

And a boy needs a man to raise him, and

To show him how to be tough, . .

You know a baby can grow-up gentle,

When a gentle Daddy takes good care.

And a baby can grow up stron and brave

When a strong, brave Mama is there!

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby some love!

Now every baby’s gotta have at least one person

Who can be both gentle and strong

Well if the Mama and the Daddy can both do that

Then that baby’s never gonna go wrong!

Baby don’t need no silver spoon

Don’t need no rub-a-dub-dub

It’s apparent that a baby needs a parent who

Can give that baby, … some love!

On Uniforms and Songs On Sex & Sexuality – www.peteralsop.com

Society sees mothers and fathers differently. For thousands of years, people have felt that child rearing is primarily a woman’s domain. Mothers have always been expected to be the best person for that job. The old image of a father, who never changed a diaper, doesn’t know how to make meals for his kids, and who functions as ‘the bread-winner’ has faded, as men in the US today, take a much more active role in raising their children than we used to when I was a child.

In the past, divorce courts usually awarded child custody to the mother of young children, because mothers were assumed to be the ‘better’ parent. The father, if he was lucky, would get visitation rights. (Remember Robin Williams as“Mrs. Doubtfire”?) Fortunately, more courts are allowing men custody and more quality time with our children. That’s a big change for the better, although there is still plenty of room for more equity.

Much of the research on single parents has centered around single moms. When compared to mothers with partners, (regardless of gender), single moms have higher levels of psychological distress, generally lower socio-economic status, and their physical health is worse. They are also at greater risk of mortality. Single fathers are still largely understudied.

As a culture, we still do not fully acknowledge that men can be great dads and primary caregivers for children. There are support groups, and books for all dads, and we see ‘changing’ tables in men’s bathrooms now, so things are changing. Even so, I think we are still way behind where we ought to be with encouraging our sons and young men to see themselves as caregivers and nurturers. I’d love to hear from any of you folks with your suggestions or examples of what we can do to raise our sons, so our daughters won’t need a #MeToo Movement when they grow up?

Illustration by Terri Asher

Thanks for joining us. In addition to my Substack video posts, there are also 250 episodes of my audio podcast, Peter Alsop’s ‘Songs To Chew’, available on Substack. Each episode covers one of my songs, or a portion of one of my kid’s albums, and we explore the very human ideas that generated the songs. We discuss how parents, teachers, doctors, nurses, therapists and counselors use my songs with their students and clients. Some are humorous. Some help folks look at the emotions that drive our behaviors. We unravel how music and the arts can create a safe place for clients and family members to talk, and be more clear about what’s going on around us. These songs help us find better ways to process what’s happening in our lives, so we can make the changes we need to make.

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