Peaches opens the mic and immediately swan-dives into a day where cloned dogs exist, melatonin suddenly has a mean streak, and frozen burritos get a whole timeline monologue they never asked for. Maddie wanders in like a raccoon through a screen door and the two proceed to solve absolutely nothing while debating quicksand myths, free candy vans, and whether Grandma Kidd’s brunch horn sounds like an elephant or Jade clearing his throat. Idaho Falls traffic stages a personal stunt show, Chick-fil-A cookies become a moral test, and fantasy football turns into a Shakespearean tragedy featuring a quarterback arm that bends in directions bones should not. Disturbed is not gone forever, the Dodgers are apparently inevitable, and somewhere in Florida a garage-door company accidentally lives at a stranger’s house while a Russian factory worker tries to keep an oopsie that looks suspiciously like a new car. It is loud, it is shameless, and it is very Peaches.

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