It’s Friday, it’s 7/11, and Peaches is spiraling into soda elitism, stolen statues, TikTok door kicks, and a movie list that sends Maddie into Gen Z chaos.

In today’s Peaches Pit Party, things go off the rails fast:

• 🧼 Peaches admits his apartment is still trashed from last weekend and full of White Claw cans and deflated air mattresses.
• 🧊 It’s Free Slurpee Day—or it was, until YouTubers started bringing in kiddie pools and pants full of syrup.
• 🍟 It’s also National French Fry Day, and Peaches debunks the myth that In-N-Out has the best fries. (He worked there. He knows.)
• 👟 A thief in Australia steals 53 right shoes and forgets you can’t dance with just one foot.
• 🍔 Someone kidnapped a Ronald McDonald statue, and Peaches wants to know what kind of lunatic puts that in their living room.
• 🧠 A hyperbaric chamber explodes, and Peaches compares it to Final Destination 12: Rich Guy Edition.
• 💥 The Shot Clock Sports Update includes:
  • $6,000 VIP fan trips with the Arizona Cardinals
  • Robot umpires making their All-Star Game debut
  • Congress hiking taxes on sports gamblers (cue rage)
• 🛫 A flight gets diverted after a woman sees someone text “RIP” and reports it as a terror threat. You’re not ready for Peaches’ full breakdown of this “snooty Susan.”
• 🎬 To Peach Their Own: What movie have you never seen that shocks people? Maddie Kidd joins in and proceeds to admit she’s never seen:
  • Elf
  • Titanic
  • Fight Club
  • Star Wars
  • The Dark Knight
  • ANY Indiana Jones
  • …and basically everything on IMDb’s Top 100. And she’s not sorry.

Also in this episode:

• 🥤 Real cane sugar Dr. Pepper = elite
• 🎸 Maddie’s never heard of Tenacious D and Peaches still refuses to rent Pick of Destiny
• 🧟‍♂️ TikTok’s new trend: door-kicking challenges. Peaches reminds teens that most Idahoans have guns.
• 🏊‍♂️ Backyard pools are overrated (especially when ducks take them over)
• 🎤 Oasis fans are trying to swim into shows and Peaches is honestly impressed
• 🎮 Maddie’s only exposure to Star Wars is through LEGO. Iconic.