“I’ve experienced things I never thought I’d experience. I’ve experienced freedom I never thought I would have. I didn’t even know it existed.”

This a powerful reflection around sobriety from this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ that I really relate to. Harry Gay (he/him) - YES, that’s his real name and there’s a brilliant story about it in this episode - is a DJ, event producer & activist. He’s the Founder & Co-Director of London-based DJ collection Queer House Party which started as online venture during lockdown fronted by a crew of frontline workers who threw their DJ equipment together & went with it. It’s since become a mainstay of nightlife in the capital - bold, political, unapologetic.

Harry brings a shit ton of creativity, skill & energy to his DJing & reflects on the journey as DJ & Queer House Party, what it stands for and how it’s evolved organically.

Little Harry grew up in Hertfordshire in a working class, single parent household and we chat about his constantly being in trouble at school, family dynamics & feeling out of place. His experience of ADHD, and a later diagnosis, have helped him make sense of much of this and he goes on to describe how going sober has also become a part of that. Which is particularly timely given he’s just celebrated his third soberversary.

Despite struggling with education, Harry went on to become top of his class at university and his studies, as well as settling into London life, informed much of his work around activism, advocacy & campaigning on a variety of issues including supporting asylum seekers, homelessness & youth advocacy.

When asked what he’s proud of, Harry reflects on his 15 year old self sneaking out to G-A-Y bar in Soho where he started to find community, belonging & an interest in politics. He also fondly reflects on the angry energy he had in his 20s. These days, despite being in nightlife and living the freelance life, he enjoys calmness. And the three words Harry uses to describe his origin story - Kicking-Off. Chaos. Serenity - really capture him & his origin story.

“Trust yourself. No-one knows what they’re doing. It’s a realisation I had far too late”. He’s not just one of my favourite DJs out there. Harry is someone I’ve personally learned a lot from & I’m so grateful for this conversation as I close out season 3. Enjoy!