COURTHOUSE OF HORROR

Opening Arguments

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OA1203 - Happy Halloween! We take shelter from a year of ghoulish legal news in the COURTHOUSE OF HORROR, a cabinet of macabre legal curiosities including:

“SO I TRADEMARKED AN AXE MURDERER”: The historic Lizzie Borden House takes a whack at a nearby coffee shop
“THE BONE DETECTOR”: Recent patent bar survivor Jenessa Seymour brings us the unbelievable story of the spookiest--and silliest!--lie detector ever registered by the US Patent & Trademark Office

“ATTACK OF THE TORTIOUS CLOWNS”: Can you sue a haunted house for your fright-related injuries?

“THE GREENBRIER GHOST”: The bizarre tale of how a victim’s testimony from beyond the grave helped to convict her killer in an 1896 West Virginia murder trial

“CANDYMAN 5: SUMMARY JUDGMENT”: In a tasty conclusion to last year’s Halloween footnote on consumers disappointed with the spookiness of their seasonal treats, a Florida federal judge finds as a matter of law that there is no wrong way to make a Reese’s.

Finally, we close on a serious note with Jenessa’s guide to how every registered voter can do their part next week to change the plot of our ongoing American horror story.

Order in Ghost Adventures LLC v. Miss Lizzie’s Coffee, LLC, No. 23-2000 (1st

Cir.)(Selya, J.)(11/15/2024)

“Federal Judge Known for Polysyllabic Prose Dies at 90,” Trip Gabriel, The New York Times, (3/21/2025)
“Would You Confess Your Criminal Misdeeds to This Skeleton?,” Cara Giaimo, Atlas Obscura (5/16/2017)
“Apparatus for Obtaining Criminal Confessions and Photographically Recording Them,” Patent #1749090, H.A. Shelby (filed 8/10/1927)
“The Greenbrier Ghost Reexamined,” Greenbrier Historical Society, Arabeth Balseko (1/20/2022)
Summary judgment order in Munoz v. Six Flags St. Louis LLC (10/12/2022)(Wallach, J.)
Order granting motion to dismiss in Vidal et al v. The Hershey Company, FLSD No. 24-60831 (9/19/2025)(Damian, J.)
“Your Cheat Sheet To The 2025 General Elections,” Daniel Nichanian, Bolts (10/1/2025)

Check out the OA Linktree for all the places to go and things to do!

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