Thanksgiving Money Triggers: Boundaries, Shame, Peace W/ Rachel Duncan
Manage episode 521296711 series 3410786
This one’s for anyone walking into Thanksgiving with a pit in their stomach about money. You know the drill: old stories, old roles, and fresh triggers. I brought financial therapist Rachel Duncan back to help us keep it real at the table—and keep our dignity intact.
We break down why holidays wake up your oldest money wiring. Families “snap you back” into your teenage self, and your money beliefs? Most of them got stamped on you by age eight. If you’ve ever felt “14 again” at Mom’s house, you’re not crazy—your nervous system just time-traveled.
Then we torch the shame cycle. Shame says “I am bad.” Guilt says “I did something I don’t like—and I can change it.” That shift matters because guilt leads to action. We walk through how to swap shame for guilt and actually move forward.
We also hit boundaries—the real kind. A healthy boundary isn’t a fight; it’s clarity about what you will do. We show you how to feel when a boundary gets crossed, redirect explosive moments without stonewalling, and stop people-pleasing without burning the house down.
Finally, Rachel gives a practical ritual you can actually use this week: a daily “pleasure practice” to reconnect you to yourself. Do one small thing that makes you feel human. It’ll do more for your money than any spreadsheet ever could. Yes, really.
Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lXnvkBWjGas
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Chapters
1. Thanksgiving Money Triggers: Boundaries, Shame, Peace W/ Rachel Duncan (00:00:00)
2. Family triggers: Why you “feel 14 again” at home (00:01:20)
3. Avoid or address? How to redirect without gaslighting (00:06:30)
4. People-pleasing, “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” and scripts that work (00:11:00)
5. How to feel a boundary crossing in real time (00:15:10)
6. Swap shame for guilt to make change possible (00:19:40)
7. Connection kills shame: build your money “superhero team” (00:23:15)
8. The daily “pleasure practice” that beats any budget (00:26:10)
9. Budget = boundary (how to make it feel normal) (00:29:05)
194 episodes