Episode 9 – What Would Bob Barker Do?

A micro-dose of smart-ass holiday wisdom to listen to while it snows… or while you regret every Christmas gift you’ve ever bought.

In today’s festive rant, Josh Scramble unleashes on one of the great holiday crimes: buying a pet for Christmas. The gang breaks down why tiny bunnies turn into land piranhas, why children should not be trusted with anything that breathes, and why Florida should NOT be selling souvenir-shop turtles to tourists who definitely can’t keep them alive.

Jerry revisits the saga of Kira Pancake’s doomed pet turtles, Jen relives the sadness of watching baby sea turtles march toward statistically certain death, and Josh questions every white person who has ever booked a “sea turtle experience.” The group concludes that the only morally acceptable Christmas pet is a stuffed animal, because it won’t suffer when you forget to feed it.

A warm, cozy holiday episode full of cheer, judgment, animal ethics, and bad childhood memories — just how the Advent Calendar intended.

Sponsored by:

👕 SoCoolShirts.com – Wear Your Weird.
🧠 All In Jest Trivia – Last Friday of every month, September–April at the Marshall J. Gardner Center.
🎭 Miller Community Theatre – Support local productions!
🛍️ Indy Indy Bang Bang – Shop local on Lake Street this holiday season.

• (00:43) - Don't Buy Pets for Christmas
• (05:06) - Turtles and Their Misadventures
• (06:18) - Holiday Shopping Local