How do we rest when we’re restless?

In this week’s podcast chat, Erica and I discover that our relationship with Rest is at either ends of the rest spectrum. That relationship very much determines how we rest and when we do.

With the ‘silly season’ and the mad rush to year’s end upon us, we felt Rest was something that might be helpful to talk about. Rest is also the theme of Erica’s SelfKind hub this month, so…snap!

Let’s talk about Rest but with a genius reframe to guide us.

Resting From: in this chat Erica talks about the reframe of rest from the lying down for a nap or a read, to thinking about Resting From to guide us in ways that might serve us best to Rest. It’s brilliant (she’s brilliant)!

Resting From, to finding Ways To Rest:

* From rushing with many things on our mind - to slowing down and being present in the moment. ‘Wash the dishes to wash the dishes’ rather than rushing to getting it done. Being present to find peace in that moment. {Thich Nhat Hanh}

* From phone scrolling - distraction or rest? It may be mindless but is it rest, really? To conscious awareness, to pause. Maybe with a micropause (read on for more about that in our chat).

* From Self-Criticism - this one really hit home because it’s something we midlifer’s feel often. Rest from self-criticism with self-compassion. Be on your own side.

* From Being an Adult - to play! Being playful. Breaking the burden and responsibility of being an adult and be child-like at play.

What do you need Rest From?

Role Models For Rest: Did you have them? Anita and Erica’s experiences are poles apart. Having Italian heritage, Anita was modeled rest from a young child witnessing her Nonna and Dad resting often with a post lunch siesta. My family worked very, very hard (7 days a week and with about 4 days off a year) but rest was deliberately carved out, regularly. Modeled throughout her life, it became part of her life choice, modeling it for her children too.

Erica’s experience was quite different, never witnessing her parents resting. Indeed, resting was regarded as weakness, bringing about shame if it was practiced. Erica finds it hard to rest and her kids do too.

It got us thinking, is our relationship with Rest nurture or nature? Something that’s inherently in us or nurtured with us. What do you think?

Resting is something that Erica is consciously learning to do more of. Finding ways to ‘Rest From’ that work for her, like the examples mentioned above and with Micropauses of Rest.

Micropauses of Rest: not the 20 minute siesta but rather a small act that can ‘break the circuit’. Appreciating that not everyone will have access to rest in larger chunks of time in their day. Take them consciously and with compassion. Breathwork, movement, sipping tea or coffee in a space that feels good for you. In nature, often the perfect antidote to our modern stressful lives.

Consistency is Key: cultivating a Resting From practice takes time. It’s a work in progress. Don’t make it yet another thing to add to your self-criticism list. You’re ‘doing battle’ with a culture, an employment system that does not value rest. It values productivity - doing at all costs. And if you don’t keep pushing, you’re lazy.

We say no and ask you to consider ways in which you could create micropauses of rest. Ways to ‘Rest From’ and build with consistency, a practice that might just blossom into something bigger. Something unexpected but oh so beautifully nourishing. Where rest is a value and you protect and defend it often.

Thank you to everyone who tuned into our live video! Join us for our next live video in the app.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share the love on. We could all do with more Rest. Don’t you think?

Want more encouragement and support around how to rest? Then jump over to Erica’s SelfKind Hub and find out a little more. It’s a beautiful community. Erica is so thoughtful and wise, way beyond her years.

See you next week!

Anita xx