#234: Why Do I Keep Pretending Everything’s Fine in My Relationship?

Love Shack Live: Helping Couples Rescue Their Relationships

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You love them. You want it to work. But no matter how hard you try, something keeps getting in the way of that deep connection you crave.

This episode is for anyone standing at the edge of love, wondering why it feels so lonely even when you’re not alone.

Welcome to Love Shack Live, the podcast for people at a relationship crossroads. If you’re facing daily conflict, growing emotional distance, or just aching for a more genuine connection, you’re in the right place.

This week, we’re digging into the hard truth about connection: why love alone isn’t enough, and why vulnerability (the thing we often avoid) is the very thing that makes lasting intimacy possible.

What if the connection you’re chasing isn’t missing… it’s just unskilled?

In this raw and revealing episode, we unpack:

Why revealing and witnessing are the non-negotiables of intimacy
How the race to the bottom begins in silence and ends in disconnection
What to do when love is present, but safety and truth-telling are not

If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship by clinging to the dream of what could be, while avoiding the truth of what is, this conversation is your mirror, your manual, and your permission slip to begin again with skills.

Timestamps:

02:36 Navigating Relationship Conflicts
04:32 The Importance of Vulnerability
05:34 Love Alone is Not Enough
06:38 Skills Required for Lasting Love
08:48 The Illusion of Love Without Skills
11:04 Personal Story: The Reality of Unbalanced Relationships
18:28 The Need for Mutual Effort in Relationships
18:48 Living in Pretend and Illusion
22:59 Staying Current with Each Other
24:57 The Challenge of Staying Current in Relationships
26:24 The Importance of Making Time for Your Partner
28:06 Understanding Relationship Dynamics
31:01 The Race to the Bottom: Emotional Safety in Relationships
36:01 Practical Tips for Revealing and Witnessing
41:38 Follow the Fun: Reveal Roulette Exercise
44:29 Final Thoughts and Resources

🌀 Follow the Fun: Reveal Roulette

Ready to put connection into practice? Try a little game we call Reveal Roulette. It’s low-stakes, a little silly, and sneakily deep.

Here’s how it works:

Grab your partner (or a close friend, or even your journal if you’re solo). Pick a number from 1 to 6, or roll a die if you’ve got one handy, and answer the corresponding prompt. One person reveals, the other witnesses. No fixing. No interrupting. Just listening.

Ready? Here are your prompts:

Something small that’s been bothering me lately is…
If you really knew me right now, you’d know that I’m feeling…
One thing I wish I could say out loud more often is…
Here’s something I pretend doesn’t matter to me, but it really does…
A moment this week when I felt disconnected was…
One thing I’m afraid you might misunderstand about me is…

Remember: connection is built through brave moments of truth-telling and grounded witnessing. You don’t have to fix anything. You just have to stay with it.

🛠️ Ready to turn this space into a turning point?

Enrollment is now open for the Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap, our guided 30-day journey to help you stop spiraling, regulate your emotions, and communicate with clarity (even when everything feels uncertain).

This is the final live round of 2025, and you can save $50 with code ROADMAP50 at checkout. (Earlybird enrollment code expires on July 31, 2025.)

👉 Join us now at loveinlimboroadmap.com and give yourself the emotional tools you wish you’d had soone

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