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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:

1. Taylor & Travis: So Happy! - Every other longtime BF on earth: so f*cked!
2. Aussie PM boots Iran Ambassador over local terror attacks - 'I knew he was trouble when he walked in!'
3. Anti-Hero Vice Prostate BJ Vance tells Ukraine, Crimea - 'You are never ever getting back together!'
4. Plus, a Cruel Summer for Wests Tigers fans as team bombs finals chances again - 'We remember this all too well!'

And so much more of the week's psychosis (are you ready for it?):

• Texas Republican Gov Greg Abbott unconcerned new gerrymander creates 10 Dem House Seats - 'I'll drown those voters too!'
• Texas Attorney-General Ken Paxton not hurt by new Sen John Cornyn Attack Ad - 'It's no King Size Bitch Fist with add-on barbed wire nozzle (sadly)'
• Travis pre-nup request has Taylor in tears - 'OMG, it's so cute!'
• Champagne Problems as Henry struggles to pronounce ‘Rheims’ and Agent Tracy corrects him in her third language
• Trump fires US Federal Reserve Governor on grounds her mortgage fraud not big enough - 'Next time try Trumpcoin, Shaniqua!'
• US Center for Disease Control Head fired by RFK Jr forgives his anti-vaxx stance - 'God bless him, there's still no cure for being a c*nt!’
• Travis/Tay Tay bliss reminds Ghislaine Maxwell of Epstein’s failure to propose - 'Is that all I am to you, Jeffrey? Just a serial child co-rapist?'
• ANZ Bank forgets to tell staff they’re fired - customers Forgets That ANZ Existed!
• Aussie mining legend Gerry Mooney wishes Taylor & Travis 'all the f**ken happiness them c*nts deserve an' I'm not talkin' bullsh*t but f**ken reality!'
• Aus football codes explained! - Rugby League: 15 years, no parole; AFL: 1 year ban, team transfer; Rugby Union: no charge, bang/film drunk girl to celebrate

In the comedy podcast with all the latest news explained by idiots - The Honk, Henry Lee and, in a shock debut, Inner West Mooj! - 'Ahhh, Henry…check your Alligator F*ckhouse!'

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Produce, mix, compile, edit: Junior (Curly Lewis guys burned down wrong studio)

Additional editing by: Social media expert needed URGENTLY to scrub photos of me at ‘Honkys for Palestine’ march next to Iran agent with Hezbollah poster HELP!!!

Digital design/social media: Guantanamo Babe, unless she's been sent to Uganda

“Townsville” Henry Lee is dressed by the STASI, Confederacy of United States and Tulsi Gabbard, and only drinks champagne from REAAAAHHHHMMMMSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!, France (or Cairrrnnss, FNQ)

Catch The Honk as 'Laurie Nicholls the Mystery Cat' in Sondheim’s last musical “Assassins at Leichhardt” (as always, it ends badly)

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