In this episode of The Inclusive Dad podcast, host AAron welcomes hypnotist and coach Duff McDuffee for a powerful conversation on neurodivergence, self-acceptance, and shifting from punishment to progress. Duff shares his personal journey as a late-discovered autistic person and how embracing difference rather than masking it opened up a life of meaning and connection. From redefining inclusion to challenging internalized shame, this episode offers fresh insight and practical strategies for parents, educators, and anyone seeking to live—and lead—with compassion. Duff’s coaching approach invites us to find joy, not fear, as the fuel for transformation.

Key Takeaways:

Inclusion Starts Within – True inclusion begins with accepting and embracing our own differences.

Punishment Paradigm – Many of us unconsciously rely on fear and pain to motivate, but there's a healthier way.

Progress Over Perfection – Small, joyful steps forward are more sustainable than forced discipline.

Difference ≠ Deficiency – Neurodivergence isn’t a flaw—it’s a different, often powerful, way of being.

Parenting with Curiosity – Supporting kids means discovering what lights them up, not just pushing what’s “normal.”

Duff McDuffee’s definition of inclusion:

Inclusion starts with including yourself, seeing yourself as good and seeing the difference that you have is good.

Duff McDuffee’s Bio:

Growing up, I thought there was something wrong with me, but I didn't know what it was. I felt so anxious in social situations I went mute most of the time.

I dived deep into every personal growth and spiritual technique I could to try to resolve what I thought were my "issues."

Some of the most powerful methods I found involved making changes at the level of the unconscious mind. When we change the unconscious, we don't have to force ourselves or struggle to maintain it. So I studied esoteric topics like hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and then became a coach so I could help others make deep changes in their lives too.

Where I was once mute, now I speak for a living! I know that deep transformation is possible, because I've done it. And I also now know there was never anything wrong with me, I was just neurodivergent. I had a different brain, a different way of thinking and perceiving, and with that difference comes my strengths.

I also discovered along the way, using my unique gifts (including my degree in Philosophy), that there is an underlying paradigm governing how we do things that causes stress. I call it The Punishment Paradigm. That's the whole way of thinking that emerges from the belief that the best or only way to motivate ourselves to do things is from fear and pain.

But luckily, there is also an alternative, The Progress Paradigm. That's where we motivate ourselves with love and joy instead. We can paradigm-shift from fear to love, and when we do, we find that we don't burn out, we light up!

I teach neurodivergent entrepreneurs how to embody The Progress Paradigm, because I believe the different can make a difference. We are the first to burn out, but that is a blessing in disguise. It just means we are leading the way into a future where fewer people are forcing themselves to do things they hate, and more people are following their true passions.

Connect with Duff McDuffee:

Website: https://boulderhypnosisworks.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/boulderhypnosisworks

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